


A safe place

by TheKingParrot



Category: Outlander (TV), Outlander Series - Diana Gabaldon
Genre: Gail Abernathy - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-31
Updated: 2018-12-23
Packaged: 2019-08-11 15:18:31
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 20
Words: 27,994
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16478006
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheKingParrot/pseuds/TheKingParrot
Summary: This story is not for everyone.  I wrote a few chapters and then abandoned it, but returned when I saw the most recent statistics on domestic violence.  I have seen the impact on family, friends and children.  As a teacher, I have seen the long-term impact of family violence on my students.  Those who think that teaching is a simple matter of designing and delivering curriculum would be surprised, and quite possibly horrified.For those who haven't been impacted directly or non-directly by domestic violence - be glad but be aware.  Be a listener, be a friend.Any feedback is welcomed.





	1. This happens to other people, doesn't it?

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Dale](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Dale/gifts).



 

Claire was aware of the many and various ways a person could be abused.  She saw the results of that abuse in the emergency department of the hospital in which she worked.  As a paediatric surgeon, she had seen children with bruising, cigarette burns, broken bones, lesions and numerous other injuries inflicted by those who should have been caring for them.  She did her best to remain objective, even though it broke her heart.

So, here she was sitting on her cold bathroom floor, a damp towel held to her heavily bruised face, wondering how the hell it had happened to her.  Frank had been banging on the door demanding that she unlock it for nearly ten minutes but eventually she heard the front door of their house bang shut and the car engine rev as he reversed out of the driveway and drove away.

She was quite confident he had gone but didn’t want to unlock the door and venture out in case he had snuck back into the house and was waiting for her.  After an hour of silence, she accepted she would have to leave the bathroom eventually.  She turned the lock slowly and quietly peeked out.  The lounge room light was on, but there was no sign of movement.  She shuddered when a sudden noise made her jump, but it was just a car backfiring in the street.

Her instincts told her to leave the house as soon as possible.  Frank could return at any moment and she certainly didn’t want to face him alone.  She crept out of the bathroom, threw the towel on to the couch, donned her coat and boots, grabbed her briefcase and handbag, and checked she had her mobile phone and wallet.  She looked out of the large lounge windows to see if there was any sign of Frank outside – nothing. 

“Get out now Beauchamp”, she told herself.  And she did.

She didn’t want to walk along the main roads, as they were most likely to be the route Frank would use to return home.  Instead, she took her scarf from her coat pocket and wrapped it round her head, pulled up her collar and walked nervously (and rapidly) in the direction of Joe and Gail’s home, repeatedly looking back from whence she came.  Thank goodness they were only four blocks away.

When Claire arrived on their doorstep and rang the doorbell, she stood so that the bruised side of her face wasn’t facing whoever opened the door.  Gail greeted her.

“Claire, what a nice surprise.  Come in sweetie”, Gail cooed.

Joe heard Gail’s greeting and rose from the dining table, where he was having coffee and cake.  A broad smile was on his face and his arms were directed toward Claire, but when she moved into the bright light of the room his face fell and he stopped in his tracks:

“Christ Lady Jane, what the hell happened to you?  Come in, sit down.  Gail, get Claire an ice pack and a brandy please.”

Lady Jane was Joe’s nickname for his fellow surgeon and best friend, Claire.  Claire had been matron of honour at Joe’s wedding to Gail. She was relieved to be in their home, a place of safety with people she could trust.

When Gail returned from the kitchen with an ice pack wrapped in a hand towel, she gently positioned it on Claire’s face and kissed the top of her head.  Claire held the ice pack to her face while Gail sat next to her, holding her other hand.  Joe was facing them.

“Did that bastard Frank do this Claire?”, Joe asked quietly.  He was looking Claire straight in the face when he asked.  His voice was gentle, but he was seething inside.  If Frank were in front of him, he swore he would stick a knife between that man’s ribs.

“We had words”, Claire said with difficulty, “and Frank wouldn’t accept I was telling him the truth.  We were both so angry.  It was my fault too, Joe”.

“ _Bullshit_ , Lady Jane.  That man’s used every form of abuse except physical up to now.  He’s denigrated you in public, tried to keep you from your friends, found ways to spend the money _you_ earn, insulted your intelligence and made sexual jokes about you that have turned my stomach.  Now you’ve got to admit that the man has gone too far, LJ.  This can’t continue.”

Gail nodded in agreement.  “Claire, you have to stay with us tonight.  You can’t go back to that man or to your home alone.”

Joe sat closer to Claire.  “Look at me, LJ.  Look at me and tell me you deserved this.”

“I didn’t”, Claire snivelled. It clearly hurt her to speak.  “How did it come to this Joe?  He’s a university lecturer and I’m a surgeon, how did this happen?”

“What you do as a career has nothing to do with it LJ.  The man wants to micromanage your life and it’s time to say ‘enough’.  I’m going to arrange for a colleague to do an assessment on your injuries and make a report.  If I do it, I’ll be accused of bias.  This has got to be documented and you’ve got to make it clear that it won’t be happening again.”

“Oh Joe, no”, Claire muttered.  Her speech was slurred.  Everything was hurting.

“LJ, I don’t give a shit about Frank and neither should you.  Gail and I are not the only people who’ve expressed concern about your marriage.  Others at the hospital have seen how he speaks to you, expects you to jump on his command and humiliates you.”

Joe left the room and rang a personal friend who worked at a hospital in another suburb of London.  He returned wearing his coat and gloves.  “Gail, I’d like you to come with us.  I’ll speak to John Grey while you stay with Claire. He’ll be doing the assessment.  I don’t want her alone for a moment.”

“Sure Joe.  I’m happy to help Claire any time.  I’ll just grab some warm clothes.”

Fifteen minutes later, they arrived in the car park of St Charles Hospital in North Kensington.  Dr John Grey was waiting for them in A&E.  He spoke briefly to Joe and then led Claire, Joe and Gail into a quiet room. 

“Claire, you need to remove all your clothes, other than your underwear and put on this gown.  Then we’ll have a chat and check out your bruising”, John Grey said calmly.  “Just take your time.”

“There’s really no need for this”, Claire mumbled.

“Let me be the judge of that”, he reassured her.

Gail helped Claire to remove her clothes and gasped. She struggled to hold back the tears.  In addition to the bruising and cuts on her face, Claire had severe bruising on one arm, her shoulders, back and hips.  Dr Grey handled her gently, then sat Claire down to talk to her.

“Claire, it appears to me that you have been struck with a fist in the face.  The facial and mandibular contusions indicate at least two strong blows.  I would like to have your jaw X-rayed as soon as possible as I believe it is possible that it has been dislocated.”

Claire nodded, tears dropping from her chin.  She squeezed Gail’s hand while Joe stood in the corner of the room wiping his eyes.

“Your other injuries would indicate that you were thrown against a wall causing extensive bruising to your back. Is that the case?”, Grey asked.

Claire nodded, then grabbed her face in apparent pain.

“Joe and Gail, can you stay with Claire while I arrange for photographs to be taken?  Then we’ll go to the X ray department and I will arrange for a female police officer to write up a statement to accompany my medical report.”

Joe shook John’s hand as he left the room to make the necessary arrangements.  Claire was now extremely distressed and clinging to Gail.

“We need to find her a safe place, Gail”, Joe said to his wife.

“Claire is not leaving my sight until this is sorted out, Joe” Gail agreed.

Claire’s head was spinning.  Pain was emanating from so many parts of her body and her sole focus was on clinging to Gail’s hand.  Her point of safety. 

 

 


	2. Friends are the best medicine

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to all those who sent me wonderful feedback on this story. I was a wee bit nervous about sharing it, but have been pleased to see that people see the need to talk about domestic violence, and to share what they have seen and experienced. In order to do something about a problem, there needs to be acknowledgement that the problem exists and to understand the impact on people's lives.
> 
> This chapter goes on to acknowledge the importance of friendship in the healing process.

 

 

They spent hours in St Charles Hospital.  After medical reports and police statements had been written, an X ray revealed Claire did indeed have a dislocated jaw.  John Grey administered a local anaesthetic and muscle relaxants to minimize the pain and to help her jaw muscles loosen up enough to allow the manipulation.  She was placed on a soft diet, given pain relievers and told to return in two weeks for a review.

Joe and Gail set up their guest room for Claire.  A police officer accompanied her to the home she had shared with Frank to collect clothes and other items she would need while she recuperated. 

Police charged Frank with assault, which he vehemently denied, insisting Claire had a fall. Claire knew this was a common ploy used by people who abused their children too.  But for Claire the charges were not as important as the fact she could never return to live with Frank.  Unlike some other women, she had a choice and she knew she had to take it.

Over the next few months, Claire’s physical injuries healed.  Joe and Gail were now concerned with the longer-term emotional impact of the abuse Claire had been subjected to.  It was Gail who accompanied Claire to her counselling sessions, to court and to see her divorce lawyer.  Joe worked with Claire’s colleagues to ease her back into the workplace.  One evening, three months later, Claire was eating an evening meal with Joe and Gail when Joe started a dialogue about her future.

“LJ, you know that Gail and I are happy for you to stay with us for as long as you need, don’t you?”

“Joe, I love you and Gail.  What you have done for me is beyond friendship, but I can’t stay here forever.  I must find my own place and begin a new life”, Claire acknowledged.

“It’s clear Frank intends staying in London LJ, even if he's not allowed near you.  It’s a big city, but can you bear to share it with him?”, asked Gail.

“I have considered that.  I am aware that I dread turning a street corner, getting on a train or bus, or going into a store in case Frank appears.  I thought it would get easier over time, but I am wondering how long it will take”, Claire said.

Joe wanted Claire to consider something he’d been mulling over.  “Lady Jane, you have a few former colleagues who have become firm friends.  People who would look out for you and who you can trust.  One of them is coming here for a conference next week and I’d like you to talk to her about you moving to the hospital she works at”, Joe suggested.  “I just happen to know they are looking for a good paediatric surgeon, and you’re one of the best there is.”

“Are you thinking of Geillis, Joe?”, Claire smiled.

“You got me LJ.  What do you think?  I know Scotland’s not the warmest place there is, but Edinburgh’s a beautiful city.  It could be the change you need, without Frank lurking around corners,” Joe smiled.

“I’ll give it some thought and talk to Geillis while she’s in London.  I don’t want everyone in Edinburgh knowing what has happened.  It would need to be a fresh start”, Claire said.

“And you’d be welcome to visit us whenever you like.  You can catch the Caledonian sleeper at night and wake in London early the next morning, Claire”, Gail told her.

“You have been doing your homework, Gail”.  Claire lent forward and placed her hand over Gail’s.  “Thank you so much for your support.  I would never have made it without you.  You’re the sister I never had.”

“My soul sister, Claire”, Gail laughed.

Claire and Gail had regular movie and popcorn nights to watch their favourite movies.  _Moulin Rouge_ was high on their list.  Without a word of prompting, the two women starting singing _Lady Marmalade_ and dancing around the lounge, while Joe hooped and laughed at their dance moves.  “LJ, you have not looked this happy in a _long_ time.  Christina Aguilera, eat your heart out.”

“I am much happier, and that is down to you two”, Claire declared.

When Geillis arrived at Joe and Gail’s for dinner the following week, she threw her arms around Claire.  “Ye look gorgeous, Claire.  I swear ye look younger than the last time I saw ye, you wee bitch.  Give us a twirl.”

As part of her rehabilitation, Claire had replaced half her wardrobe.  Her soft diet, combined with less “emotional eating”, had left her with a figure to die for.  None of this was designed to attract a new man into her life, indeed Claire had been quite adamant that she was officially over relationships other than with good friends.  Feeling good was part of her return to being herself, not meeting Frank’s expectations.  She was still fragile, and at times uncertain, but she was determined she was going to make it – on her own.  As she told herself: “Two steps forward, one step back”.  Her counsellor was big on moving forward with the expectation that things wouldn’t always go to plan.

Geillis was positively excited at the prospect of Claire working with her again.  The two women had established an excellent working relationship when Geillis had lived in London and had been social butterflies until Geillis moved back to Scotland and Claire married Frank.  Geillis had made no secret of her dislike of Frank but didn’t descend to “I told you so” jibes.  Joe had given her a full account of Claire’s injuries which prompted an angry “fucking bastard, I’ll hang him by his balls from my Christmas tree” with a guttural Scottish accent for which Geillis was famous.

By the time the conference was over, and Claire was bidding Geillis farewell from Euston Station, Claire had emailed her job application to the Royal Infirmary of Edinburgh.  Joe had fielded a call seeking a professional reference 48 hours later.  Claire was beginning to feel optimistic.

Geillis screamed from the open train window: “See ye soon.  Ye’ll knock ‘em fucking dead in Edinburgh Claire.  I canna wait.”

Just a month later, Claire was packing up what belongings she had salvaged from her home with Frank, ready to move to Edinburgh.

Before the court case and divorce proceedings, Frank had urged her to stay in London and live in their former home, believing they could “resolve our differences”. Claire remained resolute.  She had seen these same tactics used on victims in the hospital, and she was going to learn from their mistakes.  She admitted to Gail that she had experienced moments of weakness, and Gail became her voice of reason.  Joe had given her the best reason to avoid weakening:

“Lady Jane, if that creep hurts you again I just might kill him.  I don’t want you and Gail visiting me in gaol.”

“Good point”, Claire agreed.

So, once her possessions had been packed and placed in a removal van, Claire headed north on the Caledonian sleeper.  She decided she would only buy a car if her rental was too far from the hospital to walk, but at first she would be shacking up with Geillis.  She wondered if her liver could take it, knowing what a reputation Geillis had for drinking.  More important, she knew she would _survive_ with Geillis and that she might not if she stayed with Frank. 

Her counsellor had told her that police made 93,590 prosecutions for domestic abuse in the year ending March 2017, of which 76% – around 71,000 – secured a conviction.  Those convictions included domestic violence against women and men. On average, two women a week were killed by their partner in the UK.  Claire was damned sure she wasn’t going to be one of them.


	3. Two steps forward, one step back

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Claire has been in Edinburgh for several months.
> 
> I've totally been on a roll with this story, partly thanks to the wonderful feedback I've received. It's incredibly motivating. I'm also excited about the end of Droughtlander, of course.
> 
> Hope you enjoy.

‘Two steps forward, one step back’ had become Claire’s mantra.  She’d adopted it after her counsellor had warned her not to expect everything to go smoothly as she recuperated.  There would be moments of self-doubt and even panic and she was developing strategies for handling those moments.

Claire had been adamant that Geillis not tell her friends and colleagues about her reasons for moving to Edinburgh from London.  She didn’t want to be judged or the subject of gossip.  This strategy seemed to have been quite successful.  Claire had been invited to workplace social occasions and felt comfortable with most of the hospital staff.  One of her colleagues had helped her by recommending her for a rental in their block of period apartments just off the Royal Mile, and she was moving in as soon as the current occupants vacated the property.

As was their habit years ago in London, Claire and Geillis marked the end of the working week with dinner and a drink and their new haunt was a hotel close to the Royal Infirmary.  They had been enjoying their new routine for two months, until several men in their 40s sidled into the booth they occupied.  The women had been sitting facing one another, with a vacant seat next to each of them.  Now they were trapped in the booth by these men, who had clearly been drinking quite heavily.

At first both Geillis and Claire had given the two men the ‘cold shoulder’ treatment.  However, the grog was doing the talking and emboldened the men.  When one of them placed his hand on Claire’s knee and started moving his hand up her leg, Claire began to panic.  Geillis, seeing the impact his actions were having on Claire, demanded the two men leave but the second man slipped his arm around her shoulders and held her tight.

“I know ye dinna mean it lass.  I can see ye’ve got the hots for me”, he said in slurred speech directly in Geillis’ ear.

“Get yer fucking face out of my face and get yer arm off my body”, Geillis demanded.

“There’s no need to get nasty.  We were only being friendly ye wee bitch”, the second man said aggressively.

The two men became increasingly lascivious and pushed themselves against Geillis and Claire.  Claire was now panicking and shaking.  She felt threatened and cornered, bringing back memories of Frank and his threats. 

“Get yer hands off these ladies and move yer arses off those seats”, a deep voice said from behind Claire.  The two men turned to look at the source of the voice.  Standing there was one very large man.  Claire thought he must be at least 6 feet 3 inches, but he also had broad shoulders, large hands, piercing blue eyes and red hair tied back in a man bun.

“Piss off and mind yer own business mate”, the man sitting next to Claire said to him.

“I’m making it my business.  Excuse me madam”, he said directly to Claire, “can I assume you would like this man to leave?”

“Yes, very much so”, replied Claire.

He looked at Geillis and asked her the same question: “Too fucking right” replied Geillis.

“The ladies have spoken.  Time to move on you two,” he said as two of his friends joined him, standing by each of his shoulders.

The two men moved from the seats and skulked away.

Claire let out a sigh of relief.  “Thank you so much.  We’re very grateful to you for intervening”, she said to the stranger.  He smiled: “I must apologise for the behaviour of my fellow Scotsmen.  It shouldna be necessary to tell someone when they’re being boorish, but I doubt those two clotheids would know the meaning of the word.  We’ll be over by the bar if ye have any more problems.  Just shout.  My name’s Jamie and my two friends here are Rupert and Angus.”

“For the record, Scotsmen don’t have a monopoly on being idiots, Jamie.  There are good men and bad everywhere”, Claire smiled.

“Sadly, bad men like to target beautiful lasses”, Jamie replied.  “As I say, we’ll be here awhile if ye have any more problems.”  Jamie’s eyes stayed fixed on Claire for a little longer than was comfortable and she looked away, embarrassed that she had maintained eye contact.  A part of her was disappointed when Jamie moved over to the bar.

Claire and Geillis continued eating.  Geillis watched as Claire looked over furtively at Jamie several times.  She turned to see that Jamie was peeking over at Claire too.  “My word Claire, ye have made quite the impression”, she teased.

“I’m sure the gallant gentleman is just looking over to make sure those men stay away”, Claire blushed.

“Right Claire.  Ye believe whatever you want, I know when ye’re smitten and he certainly is.  Ye should get his number when we’ve finished here.”

“No way Geillis.  I’m not going there again.  I plan to live the rest of my life as an independent woman with no ties.”

“Keep telling yerself that, Claire.  The only person ye’re trying to convince is yerself”, Geillis teased with a knowing grin.

The two women finished their meals and drinks and rose to leave.  As Claire stood, Jamie moved toward her. 

“I hope ye’ll take my business card.  I’d very much like to take ye to dinner when ye’re free”, Jamie said.

“I’m not sure about that, Jamie”, Claire said nervously.

“Please, just take it and think about it.  Might I ask yer name?”, he said hopefully.

“My name is Claire.  Claire Beauchamp.  And this is my friend, Geillis.”

“I’m pleased we could be of help to ye, ladies, and hope to meet ye again.  I hope ye’ll give me the opportunity to show that I’m one of the good guys Claire.”

Jamie dropped his business card into Claire’s open handbag and returned to his friends, turning and waving as Claire and Geillis headed for the door.

The moment they were outside, Geillis slapped Claire on the back.  “Shit Claire, how do ye do it?  That Viking would’ve whisked ye off to his dragon ship in seconds and ravished ye till ye squealed for mercy.  What a stud! What’s on his business card?”

Claire took the card from her bag and read it aloud: “James Fraser.  Executive Director of Viking Tours.  We specialise in small group tours of the Viking Coast and Alnwick Castle.”

Geillis threw her head back, her long auburn hair swishing in the breeze.  “Fucking brilliant!  He _is_ a Viking!  Yer couldn’t make it up”, she roared with laughter.

Claire did her best to look nonchalant but was sure to place the card in a secure, zipped pocket in her bag.


	4. KAPOW!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Claire and Jamie meet again.
> 
> Still on a roll. Droughtlander hasn't ended in Australia yet but the sense of excitement is palpable.
> 
> Again, my thanks for the wonderful feedback. I've found I think in 1300-1500 word blocks on this story. It does mean the chapters are shorter, but the up side is I can post more regularly. Personally, I can't bear the wait for an update to my favourite stories.

 

Claire had taken Jamie’s card from her bag at least twice a day for a week.  Each time, she carefully returned it to the zipped pocket without calling him. The prospect of being involved with a man again was both appealing and frightening. Finally, when Geillis was called into the hospital and Claire was alone at her apartment, she took the card out and mulled over their meeting and the way he intervened on her behalf at the pub. He had been sensitive, had spoken to her and Geillis respectfully, and there was a kindness in his eyes.  He did seem like “one of the good guys”.  She couldn’t think what she would say if she rang, and anyway he might have forgotten about her.  His e-mail address was on the card, so she decided to send him a message.  If he didn’t respond, well he’d lost interest. Issue resolved.

_Dear Jamie, this is Claire.  You may have forgotten me.  You helped me, and my friend Geillis, in the pub just over a week ago and gave me your business card.  If the offer of dinner is still open, perhaps we could meet up some time.  My work schedule is a bit difficult, I should warn you.  Regards, Claire_

She added her mobile number and went to the kitchen to make a coffee.  She had filled the electric kettle and started to spoon the coffee in her mug when the phone rang.

“Hi, it’s Jamie.  I just got yer email.  How are ye, Claire?”

“That was quick”, Claire replied.

“Aye, well there’s the quick and the dead and I plan to live a wee bit longer”, Jamie laughed.

There was a pause as she wondered what to say.  She felt unusually nervous.

“Anyway, would ye like to have dinner at my place tonight?”, Jamie asked.

“Tonight?  At your place?  Well …”, Claire was a bit surprised at how keen he seemed and unsure she wanted to be alone with anyone on a first date.  Jamie’s response made her wonder if he’d read her mind: 

“It’s OK, Sassenach.  There’s someone else here I’d like you to meet sooner rather than later”, Jamie said.

A bit mysterious, thought Claire, but at least I won’t be alone with him on a first date in his home.  “OK, I can do that I suppose”, Claire replied.

Jamie gave his address and phone number and they settled on a time.  She thought it was a bit early in the evening, but assumed he was a person who liked to eat several courses slowly.

“Would you like me to bring anything?”, she asked. 

“No need.  See ye soon, Claire.  I’m looking forward to it”, said Jamie cheerily.

It was an hour later when Claire realised she was putting a lot of care into selecting her wardrobe for this date.  There was a pile of clothing on the bed which she’d discounted as too dressy or too casual.  She finally settled on a pair of linen pants with a loose top and lowish heels.  “Not too fancy schmancy”, she thought.  “Don’t want to look too eager or needy.”  It was over five years since she’d been on a first date and it was all too nerve wracking. Given that Edinburgh could turn on any season, she wore a warm wool coat to top off her outfit.

Jamie’s home was one of the smaller houses on a tree-lined street.  Claire had walked to the address and thought it was a pretty and fashionable area.  She rang the doorbell and a few moments later Jamie came to the door, tea towel in hand and wearing a ridiculous apron with Hortense McDuck on it.  She snorted, and he looked embarrassed.  It certainly broke the ice.

“Come on in, Claire”, he indicated with a broad smile.

Claire stepped in.  Some renovations had been done, and the living area was large and open plan.

“May I take yer coat?”, Jamie asked.  He hung it on a coatstand.  “Come on through and make yerself comfortable.  Would ye like a glass of wine or would ye prefer a tea or coffee”.

“A white wine would be lovely”, Claire replied.  “I thought there was someone else coming to dinner”, she added.  She felt a little tense.  The promise of a third party had made her feel more comfortable about coming to Jamie’s house.  She checked her handbag.  She had bought a personal alarm and GPS location device and she checked it was just inside the bag.  She moved the bag closer, just before Jamie handed her a glass of white wine.

“Aye, he’s here but he’s hiding.  He’ll come out when he’s ready and no’ a moment sooner”.  Jamie looked a bit concerned but grinned, sipping his glass of wine and moving around the kitchen with confidence.

“You like cooking, by the looks of it”, said Claire wondering about the hiding stranger.

“Aye, but I wouldna call myself a Gordon Ramsay”.

“Thank goodness for that, he’s such an offensive bastard”, Claire opined.  “Can’t imagine him wearing a Hortense McDuck apron, unless it was covered with the blood of a complaining customer.”

There was a sudden movement behind Claire.  She thought it might be a dog but quickly realised this was a two-legged creature.  The curly haired creature ran into the kitchen and grabbed Jamie by the leg, gripping tightly.  “Ah, there ye are Fergus.  This is Claire and she’s come to have dinner with us.  Are ye going to say hallo?”

The curly haired boy looked at Claire with a frown and nodded but refused to speak.

“That’s OK.  Fergus can speak to me as and when he’s ready”, Claire smiled sipping her wine.  She relaxed when she realised the hiding stranger was a child.

Claire spent her working days with nervous children in hospitals.  She thought the child was around 4 years of age.  He was sucking hard on his thumb, and there was a gap between his front teeth.  He also had a mild facial tic and seemed reluctant to make eye contact.  Claire suddenly realised she was in full professional mode and this wasn’t the place to be making assessments.

“Would you like some help with dinner?”, she asked Jamie.

“I’ve just got this wee bit to do and then I can put everything in the oven, thanks”, Jamie replied.

Claire looked around the living room and spotted a toy box.  Without speaking, she moved over to the box and sat on the floor looking through the collection.  Jamie watched her and looked down to see how Fergus would react.  The boy was watching Claire but still holding Jamie’s leg. 

She began by laying out a play mat then carefully placing toy cars on it.  Finally, the cars were lined up in two groups facing one another, about 10 in each line.  The boy watched Claire, still holding on to Jamie but relaxing his grip a little, thumb still in mouth.  Then Claire lay down on the floor and vigorously pushed the first car so that it ran into the cars on the other side of the mat, as she made a crashing noise: “KAPOW!”  She worked her way along the line of cars, pushing and crashing as she went.  Then she lined the cars up again. Fergus eased a little closer to her. 

Before she could repeat the crashing sequence, Fergus darted over and imitated her play sequence.  This was repeated time and time again.  Not a word was spoken, but there was a lot of KAPOWing and laughter.  Fergus was nervous, but he moved closer to Claire and helped her line up the cars after some minutes.  After a while, he lay down next to her.

Jamie stood, leaning on the kitchen bench, watching.  He’d been concerned about introducing Claire to Fergus, but he hadn’t wanted to mislead her either.  His child had to be his first priority after all that had happened to him.  As they continued playing, neither Claire nor Fergus could see the look of love that appeared on Jamie’s face.  His child playing and laughing with a woman he just met – he had to see it to believe it.  It was magic to him.  She was magic, and she looked even more beautiful when she was laughing, he thought.


	5. Small steps

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jamie reveals a little more about his son, Fergus.

Jamie plated the evening meal for the three of them – Claire, his son and himself.  Fergus ate about half his meal and played with the other half.  There was food on him, the table, and the floor.  Claire ignored the mess and continued eating, whilst chatting to Jamie.  She could see Jamie was embarrassed by Fergus’ messy eating habits, but she didn’t frown or comment on it.

“So, you’re a Viking according to your business card.  What made you go into the tourism industry, Jamie?”, Claire asked.

“I spent some time at the Sorbonne in France studying languages and when I was close to graduating I thought I should find work that used my skills.  Plus, I wanted to live in Scotland again and tourism is big business here.  Now I’m running my own business and I can work around Fergus.  He doesna have a mother, ye see Claire, or at least not one who cares for him”.  Jamie looked at Claire directly as he uttered the final sentence.  Her reaction was important to him.

“That must be difficult for you”, Claire replied looking into his intense blue eyes.

“Aye – and for him”, Jamie said looking at the lad sitting to his left, then he ran his fingers through the small boy’s curls.  Fergus looked up at him, face smothered in goo.  Claire wondered what a mess this child could make with a sloppy spaghetti bolognaise.

“What do you do, Claire?  Ye said yer work hours could be a bit difficult”, Jamie asked.

“I’m a doctor at the Royal Infirmary, Jamie.  I moved to Edinburgh from London just months ago and I’m sometimes called in for emergencies”, Claire explained.

“So ye work in A&E then?”, Jamie sought clarification.

“Specifically, I’m a paediatric surgeon so I might be called in if there’s a difficult situation involving a child who needs a specialist”.

“Aye, I know about that.  I’ll speak to ye of it later”, he said looking towards Fergus.  Jamie wiped Fergus’ face and hands and cleared the table around him.  Fergus ran over to the play mat and looked towards Claire.  “KAPOW!  We play KAPOW?”

“Absolutely”, Claire replied dropping down to the floor and lining up the cars.  This time Fergus was next to Claire from the beginning, occasionally making eye contact with her but regularly checking that Jamie was close by.  Jamie looked on, smiling and sipping his wine.

Fergus would have played all night, it seemed, but eventually Jamie told him it was time to get ready for bed. 

“No, Da!  I want to play.  Let me play”, Fergus cried.

It looked like a tantrum could be on the cards, until Claire lined up the cars.  “Da’s turn to play in the morning, eh Fergus?  The cars are lined up ready for tomorrow”, she smiled. 

“Yes.  Da’s turn tomorrow.  I only go to bed if you promise Da”.

“I promise Fergus.  Now say goodnight to Claire please”.

Fergus smiled.  He waved to Claire as Jamie took his hand and led him to his bedroom.

Claire cleared the table and stacked the dishwasher while Jamie put Fergus to bed, which she was sure would be a ritual.  By the time Jamie returned to the living room, his replenished glass of wine was sitting on the clean kitchen bench, the dishwasher was whirring, and the floor had been cleaned.

“Claire, ye didna need to do all that”, Jamie sighed.

“You made me a beautiful meal, so I cleaned up.  That’s fair, isn’t it?” she smiled.

The two of them sat on the couch with their wines.

“I hope ye’re not angry with me, Claire”, Jamie sighed.

“Why would I be angry, Jamie?”, she said looking puzzled.

“Springing Fergus on ye like that. If I’m going to be involved with anyone, in _any_ way, then Fergus is part of the deal, ye ken.  I canna trust his mother to look after him.  She canna even see him unless someone supervises them.  I’ve no’ been involved with a woman for quite a while and I wasna sure about being involved with anyone again, but when I saw ye in the pub I decided to take a chance.” 

He placed his hand over hers before continuing.  “I was watching ye awhile afore those men came along to pester ye.  I couldna take my eyes off ye and I wanted to get to know ye.  Having said that, I’ll understand if ye didna want to see me again – a divorced man with a problem child is no’ the most attractive package eh?”  Jamie’s eyes were looking down, as if he already accepted that Claire would opt out.

There was a pause as Claire pondered her next question.  She decided to face the issue head on. All the indicators were that Fergus’ mother had abused the child – the thumb sucking, the facial tic, the label of “problem child” and the supervised access visits.  

“Jamie was Fergus a victim of violence at the hands of his mother?”, Claire asked.

Jamie took a moment to compose himself and spoke to the air rather than directly to Claire.  It was clear to Claire that the topic was a difficult one for him to speak of.

“Aye, the wee lad has had a poor start to life.  It wasna just the words, the fists and the like.  She used to lie about his being sick and have him admitted to hospital for all these tests.  She’d make up symptoms and even hurt the wee lad to get medical attention. I canna imagine what it’s like to be punched and hurt by someone who’s supposed to love you.”  Jamie looked downcast.

“I know what that feels like, Jamie.  I’ve been there.” 

Jamie’s eyes opened wide and he sat forward on the couch and turned so he could look at her face on.  “Someone hurt ye, Sassenach?  Who was it?  I’ll kill the bastard.”

“It was my nearly ex-husband.  See, a nearly-divorced woman who’s suffered from domestic violence isn’t the most attractive package either, is she?”, she smiled.  For the first time, she told someone in Edinburgh _some_ of what had happened to her and why she had to leave London.  Jamie sat in silence listening to all she had to say.    

“There is nothing ye could have done to deserve that, Claire”, he said in amazement.

“Fergus didn’t do anything to deserve what happened to him either, Jamie.  I don’t know if you and I will become _involved_ , but I would very much like to be your friend.  I would have been lost without my friends in London and Geillis, and you are going to need people to help you.  Do you think we can be friends?”

Jamie’s smile lit up his face.  “I would like verra much to be yer friend, Claire.  I would also like to be _more_ than yer friend.  May I kiss ye?”

“Yes, you may”, she replied.  They placed their wine glasses on the coffee table and leaned in to one another.  His lips met hers for the first time.  The kiss was long and became increasingly passionate.  Jamie drew her close and ran his hands through her hair. Claire’s hands rested on his broad shoulders. When Jamie’s lips left hers, she looked into his intense and beautiful eyes, saying: “And you can do that again”, as her arms reached around his neck and held him close.

When Fergus woke in the morning and crept sleepily into Jamie’s bedroom, he was surprised to find Claire in his father’s bed.  He had never seen his father in bed with anyone other than his mother and he was unsure of what he should do.  He did know that this was the lady who’d played with him, so he tiptoed into the living room and collected an armful of toy cars.  He crept back into Jamie’s bedroom and arranged the cars on the nightstand next to Claire then tapped her on the shoulder. Claire squinted at the sweet little face looking at her intently.

“Play KAPOW please?”, Fergus whispered.  It was a request from one curly head to another and Claire laughed. 

“Ye’ll get no peace now, Claire”, Jamie muttered sleepily.  “I’ll make ye some coffee and breakfast.”  He struggled out of bed and headed for the kitchen, taking Fergus with him.

“Shit. How the hell did that happen?”, Claire said to herself.


	6. A girl can change her mind, can't she?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jamie invites Claire to Lallybroch.

 

After breakfast, Jamie had a quick game of KAPOW! as promised, got Fergus ready to go to day care, and dropped Claire off at the apartment she was sharing with Geillis.  When Claire unlocked the door and entered the living area, she was greeted with a knowing smile and the question she’d been expecting:

“So, I’m guessing ye’ve been with yer Viking, Claire” Geillis said, circling her. 

She smacked Claire on her bottom: “Tell me all about yer hanky panky then, she who was _ne’er_ gonna be involved with a man _ever_ again in her _entire_ life.”

Geillis was wearing her “don’t lie to me, I know all” face as she awaited Claire’s answer.

“If you must know, and I know you must Geillis, he’s actually a charming man who is also a single father, bringing up a young boy all alone”, Claire replied.

“Ouch.  Are ye sure ye want to be a part of that, Claire?  Another person’s kid is a big commitment.  Ye know that from yer work.  Very complicated.”  Geillis was normally the big tease, but she was looking a little more serious at this news.

“I told him I would like to be his friend, and we’ll see if it becomes more over time”, Claire said as she walked to the kitchen to make herself and Geillis a cup of coffee.  “I intend to take this slowly, Geillis.”

“Sounds fair.  Ye’re moving into your new place ten days from now.  Just make sure he doesna try to move in with ye”, Geillis teased.  She was heading for the bathroom when she turned and looked at Claire directly: “And Claire, I’m being serious here.  Don’t get in too deep too quickly.  Ye’re still recovering from that bastard Frank.  Give yerself time and promise to talk to me if ye’re worried about _anything,_ aye?”

Claire walked across the room and embraced Geillis.  “Thanks, hun.  Thanks for everything.  For all your bullshit, you’re the best friend.”  The two women kissed one another on the cheek.

“Aye, I’m fucking brilliant.  Now I need to find myself a spunky Viking, preferably a childless one”, Geillis laughed.

Geillis’ reminder of her impending move was timely for Claire.  She had two days off work between now and then, and she needed to get a lot done – everything from having the power company put the connection into her name to collecting boxes and packing material.  She also had some things in storage that would need to be delivered on The Day.  Then there was a fridge to be filled, beds to be set up and made, light fittings to be replaced and so it went on.  She started making a list before she headed off to work.  She had a full day of consults ahead and knew she’d have precious little time to think about it at work.

When she returned from the hospital that evening, she found Geillis “hiding” behind a gigantic bouquet of flowers sitting in a bucket on the dining table.

“I’m surprised ye could find me behind the Viking’s floral arrangement. I didna have a vase big enough”, she mocked. Claire saw an envelope sitting on the table next to the flowers and opened it to find a Batman card with KAPOW emblazoned across it.  She read the card and blushed:

_“Fergus wants to know when you’re coming to play.  I told him to find his own girlfriend because you’ll be too busy playing with me.  I miss you already.  I’ll call tonight.  You’re a rare woman, Claire.  My love, Jamie”_

Geillis looked at Claire seriously.  “He’s fallen for ye, hasn’t he?  Are ye sure this is what ye want?”

Claire thought for a moment.  “I’m taking it slowly, Geillis.  I don’t want either of us to get hurt – or his son.” 

Much as she loved her, Claire decided not to tell Geillis about Fergus’ history of abuse at the hands of his mother.  She thought Geillis would be more concerned if she knew about the lad’s past.

The two women prepared a meal, exchanging gossip from the hospital.  Geillis had always been the most observant person Claire knew, and nothing escaped her eagle eye.  She had been filling Claire in on who to avoid and which people to ingratiate herself to since she’d arrived.  They’d just finished their meal when Claire’s phone rang.

“Let me guess …”, Geillis laughed as she went to have a shower.

“Hi Claire.  It’s Jamie.  Can ye step outside for a few minutes please?”

Claire looked out of the apartment window to the street below.  Jamie was standing by his car on the other side of the road.

“OK.  I’ll be there in a minute”, she said.

She donned her leather jacket, skipped down the stairs and crossed the road.

“Are you alright?”, she asked Jamie.

Jamie looked a bit embarrassed.  “Er … aye, I’m fine Claire.  Did ye get my posy?”, he asked.

“Posy?  Jamie, Geillis was hiding behind that giant bouquet when I got home.  It was very thoughtful, thank you”, Claire smiled.  Then she noticed Fergus was asleep in his booster seat in the rear of the car.  “Oh Jamie, the poor boy looks exhausted.  He should be at home in bed.”

“Aye, ye’re right.  I just picked him up from the day care and drove here.  I just had to see ye Claire.  I needed to know that I didna imagine ye and … well, I wanted to know if ye’d come to a family gathering on the weekend.  It’s my nephew’s birthday and ye could meet my sister Jenny and her husband, Ian.  Will ye come?” Jamie asked with a look of anxious anticipation.

“As long as we’re not gone too long, Jamie.  I’m moving into my new place in ten days and I have precious little time to arrange everything.  Is it just for the afternoon?” she asked.

Jamie’s face fell.  “Well, the drive to Lallybroch is about 40 minutes each way.  I was actually hoping we could stay overnight and ye could see where I grew up.”

“I’ll see if I can organise my time.  Work is full on and there’s so much to do before, during and after the move.  Can we talk about it tomorrow?”, Claire asked.

Jamie relaxed a little.  “Thanks Claire.  I’d really love ye to come.  I’ll give ye a call tomorrow.” 

Jamie reached towards the door of the car and then stopped and turned towards Claire.  He took her by the arm and pulled her towards him, his eyes staring into hers.  Then he lifted her from the ground and kissed her with such passion and need it nearly took her breath away.

 When Claire’s feet touched the ground again, she looked up at him in amazement.  He gave her a half smile and said gently:

_“Now that I have found thee, I know that in the first step I took, I moved away from thee.”_

He got in the car and drove away, leaving her standing on the pavement – stunned.

When she came to her senses and returned to the apartment, she reflected on the whirlwind that was Jamie Fraser.  She’d never met a man who could so thoroughly captivate her.  She began planning the next few weeks making sure she would have time for the birthday party at Lallybroch.  She rang Jamie later that evening to let him know that she would definitely go with him to Lallybroch, and to make the arrangements. She recalled her comment to Geillis: “I intend to take this slowly, Geillis”.  Right.

“Well, a girl can change her mind, can’t she?  Woman’s prerogative and all that”, she muttered to herself.

She spent the rest of the evening packing a box for her new home and a bag to take to Lallybroch.


	7. Meet the family

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jamie takes Claire to Lallybroch to meet his family.

 

 

Claire was ready when the text notification sounded on her phone. She checked the message:

_Get yer perfect arse down here asap, Sassenach._

“See you tomorrow Geillis”, she called out as she left with her bag, jacket and scarf.  Jamie was by the passenger door waiting for her when she spotted Fergus in his booster seat, thumb in mouth but still managing a smile.

“I’ll sit in the back with Fergus, thanks”, she said.

“I know ye only want me for my offspring”, Jamie teased.  He kissed her on the cheek, shut her door and managed to fit his huge body in the driver’s seat.  Claire reached forward and ran her hand up his arm.

“I missed you”, he said.

“Our first weekend away”, she smiled as he began the drive.

They played a few games in the car on the way to Lallybroch.  Fergus’ favourite was spotting the red car – 35 in total and one disputed because there was a disagreement about whether it was red or a funny shade of brown.  Fergus insisted red cars went faster.

On arrival at Lallybroch, the Murray clan greeted them enthusiastically.  Jenny and Ian’s four children were all older than Fergus and he clung to Jamie until all the bags were removed from the car and he was assured that his father wasn’t going away.  Claire noticed that the facial tic was more pronounced in these moments of stress.  She sensed that the Murrays were familiar with Fergus’ insecurities, although no one commented within her hearing.

There were other family members present including Rupert and Angus, whom she’d met with Jamie at the pub when she’d been “rescued”.  Neither of them seemed surprised to see her.

“Ah, the lass Jamie couldna take his eyes off.  He’s been grinning like a Cheshire cat since ye contacted him lass”, Angus told her.

Rupert reached over and pecked her on the cheek.  “Our cousin’s had a bad time these past few years.  Anyone who can bring a smile to his face is a friend of ours”.

Jenny Murray had prepared a huge smorgasbord for lunch and fussed around making sure everyone was eating and drinking.  Claire watched how she and Jamie interacted – the typical sibling jibes combined with a similar sense of humour and common non-verbal communication.  Being an only child, she always envied that comfortable familiarity.  Jenny’s husband Ian had known both Jenny and Jamie since childhood, and the three of them were clearly very close.

After lunch, the men and boys played eight ball.  The teenagers enjoyed this rite of passage, despite being denied the alcohol their elders were enjoying.  The girls disappeared to play music and practice their dance moves in time with YouTube videos.  Fergus followed Jamie wherever he went.

Jenny invited Claire to go for a walk around Lallybroch and Claire knew that the main topics of conversation were likely to be Jamie and Fergus.  Jenny wasted no time.  As they walked up the hill to get a good view of the estate she opened up to Claire.

“I’m very happy to meet the woman who’s brought a smile back to my brother’s face, Claire.  When he rang to say ye were coming there was a lilt to his voice that I havena heard in an age.  He’s seen a lot of sadness these past years.  I just hope you know what you’ve walked into, it’s no’ for the wary”, she said looking sideways to see Claire’s reaction.

“Jamie has spoken of how cruel Fergus’ mother was to him and that she is only allowed to see him under supervision”, Claire said.

“That’s the tip of the iceberg, Claire.  That woman deserves to be shot for what she put that child and Jamie through.  I’ll no’ mince my words, Annalise was and is a bitch.  When Jamie came back from France with her, Ian and I were worried.  She had Jamie round her little finger.  He waited on her, doted on her, let her do whatever she liked, and she made a fool of him at times.  She was beautiful, and she knew it.  When Fergus came along she couldna cope with the demands of a bairn and Jamie was setting up his business. She wasna the centre of attention anymore and she took it out on that child.”  A few tears fell down Jenny’s cheeks.  “But it was the way she beat and tortured him that destroyed all of us.”

“When you say torture, just what do you mean?  Can you speak of it, Jenny?”, Claire asked.

“Aye.  If ye’re gonna be with Jamie ye’ll need to know and he finds it hard to say it.  At first, she’d leave him all day with dirty nappies and the poor lad had the worst nappy rash.  His skin would crack, and bleed, and Jamie would have to deal with it when he came home.  Then she’d go out and leave him alone in the house while Jamie was at work.  He found out later she was putting alcohol in his bottle to make him sleep.  He came home to find the wee lad was all alone and had vomited but luckily hadna choked.  Then it got really bad.”

“Where had she gone?”, Claire asked.

“She was with other men, drinking and rooting, Claire.  She broke Jamie’s heart”, Jenny sighed.

“Jamie wouldna believe it could get worse, but it did.  She started putting wee doses of poison in the lad’s food and then he’d be rushed to hospital and they’d do endless tests, needles and drips everywhere.  She’d hit and bruise him then claim he’d fallen when he began to walk”, Jenny faltered.  She was too upset to continue. “And worse, Claire.”

“Jenny, I’m a paediatric surgeon.  I’ve seen the results of this type of abuse.  You don’t need to go on unless you choose to.  I do believe what you’re saying, although I can’t say I understand how anyone can do it”, Claire told her as she held her hand.

“She did it all for attention, Claire.  The woman was hooked on being the centre of attention.  The hospital staff logged every detail then found out she’d taken him to other hospitals too.  When they combined the records, Jamie had to admit the woman couldna be trusted with wee Fergus.  He and the lad moved and then the court and divorce proceedings began.  She tried to get custody, and although that was out of the question Jamie had to fight her.  Even worse, he had to see her while he was trying to cope with everything that had happened.  Ian and I shared the court visits and the babysitting to help him through. Rupert and Angus were there for him too. It’s been very difficult”, Jenny told her.

“Jenny, I’ve made a commitment to Jamie to be his friend and possibly, quite probably, more.  I know he’ll need a lot of support and I’m glad he has his family.  He made it clear to me that Fergus was part of the deal for anyone involved with him.  I admire what he’s doing but I know from experience in hospitals that he has a difficult road to travel with Fergus.”

“I can tell ye’re a strong and brave woman, Claire.  My brother deserves the best and I’ve a feeling he’s found it in ye, but if ye choose to walk away from a relationship with him I must tell ye that I’d understand.  I hope you stay though.  You’ve brought a smile to his face and a spring to his step”, she smiled.  “And I’ve seen the way he looks at ye when yer back’s turned.  My brother is head over heels in love with ye and I never thought I’d live to see him feel that way about any woman again.”

“Well, I think he’s pretty amazing too, Jenny.  He told me he wanted to prove he was one of the good guys and I think he’s done that already.”  Claire embraced Jenny and added: “I envy him the family support he has, but I have been fortunate to have very good friends in times of need.  I know what it means to be there for someone.”

The two women walked back to the house arm in arm, laughing about a movie they both loved.  When Jamie and Ian came out to look for them, Fergus riding atop his father’s shoulders, they looked up the hill to see them walking towards them.  Ian looked at Jamie’s face and saw something he hadn’t seen for a long time.  Jamie looked hopeful and happy.

That night, Jamie and Claire slept in a beautifully appointed room filled with antiques, with Fergus fast asleep in the corner in a small bed.

“I’m so sorry, Sassenach.  Fergus is alright at home in his own room, but when we’re away he panics if he wakes and canna see me”, Jamie said in apology.

Claire removed her nightie and held him close, her breasts pressing into his side.  She lifted her left leg and placed it over his body, then whispered in his ear: “We can have silent movie sex if you like.  I’ll just bite you instead of screaming your name.”  Jamie ran his hand between her legs and she gasped.  “That wasna silent”, he smiled.  She nibbled on his arm to make a point.

Then Jamie moved her leg and rolled over her, taking his weight on his elbows, and whispered in her ear:

“Sassenach, you can eat me alive if that’s what it takes for me to shag ye senseless but I will miss ye screaming my name.”


	8. Truth coming out of her well

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The collage includes an image of a naked woman: : "Truth coming out of her well" by Jean-Léon Gérôme, 1896. Gérôme's nude is not the standard naked woman we are familiar with in the art world. The story behind the painting involves the meeting of Truth and Lie. Lie encourages Truth to go swimming on a warm day. They undressed and started bathing. Suddenly, the Lie jumped out of the water, put on the clothes of the Truth and ran away. The furious Truth came out of the well and ran everywhere to find the Lie and to get her clothes back. The World, seeing the Truth naked, turned its gaze away, with contempt and rage. The poor Truth returned to the well and disappeared forever, hiding its shame. Since then, the Lie travels around the world, dressed as the Truth, satisfying the needs of society, because the World, in any case, harbours no wish at all to meet the naked Truth.
> 
> In this chapter, we might see Claire as the Truth angrily coming out of the well.
> 
> This chapter is dedicated to an old friend who was forced to endure fortnightly visits to his father, who had emotionally and physically abused him. The court maintained the abuser had the right to access to the abused. Go figure.

 

It was the following weekend that Claire got some inkling of how difficult Jamie and Fergus’ situation had become.  Annalise had been granted supervised access visits by the court, and one of these was scheduled for Sunday.  Claire’s move had taken place on Friday and Saturday, so Jamie had suggested she spend Sunday afternoon with him while Fergus went to the visit with the court-appointed supervisor.  Claire was walking toward Jamie’s home when she heard the screaming.

Thinking something awful must be happening, Claire started running toward the front door of the house.  As it came into view, she saw Fergus screaming and trying to pull away from a middle-aged woman who was doing her best to convince him he needed to go with her.  Jamie was standing in the doorway trying to remain calm – and struggling.

When he saw Claire, Fergus broke away from Jamie and the woman and ran towards her.  “No, not make me go.  Stay with you”, he screamed as he ran into Claire’s open arms.  The child was distraught, and Claire lowered herself to hold him close.

As the woman approached her, she said: “I’m sorry but I have to enforce the court ruling.  Fergus must come with me to see his mother and we’re already running late.”  The woman reached out and held Fergus’ arm firmly.  Claire quietly but firmly pushed her hand away. 

Claire stood her ground.  “I am well aware that you have a job to do but this child is distressed and grabbing him will not help.  Show me where your car is parked please.”

The woman indicated towards her car some 30 metres away.  Claire walked slowly towards the car, carrying a sobbing Fergus and stroking his head.  “Fergus, what would you like to do when you come home?  Is there something special you’d like to do darling?  Would you like to get some pizza and eat it at my new house?  I have a little surprise there for you.  I hope you’ll like it.”

Fergus, unable to speak, nodded and held her tight.

They arrived at the car and Claire knelt in front of Fergus, who was still sobbing but had calmed down enough to listen.  Claire kissed his cheek: “If you go with the lady now you’ll be back soon and Da and I will be so excited to see you.”  She opened the car door and fitted the reluctant child into the car seat, fighting back her own tears.  “Be brave and come home soon beautiful boy.”  She kissed him on the cheek and waved as the car pulled away.  Fergus looked out of the window, forlorn and frightened.  It broke her heart.

As the car disappeared around a corner, Jamie approached Claire and held her to his chest.  “Thank ye Claire.  This happens every time the poor lad is forced to see his mother.  I wish the courts could see what their rulings do to children like Fergus.”

Claire buried her face in Jamie’s chest and took a deep breath.  “Jamie let’s go inside.  I need a drink, and I’m sure you do too.”

The two of them went inside, had a drink and cleaned up the mess created when Fergus had done everything he could to prevent being made to go, then Claire held Jamie’s hand and led him to the bedroom.

“Jamie, please come to bed with me. Let me take your mind off what just happened.  Be my lover”, Claire said lovingly as she let her hair down and kicked off her shoes.

Jamie half smiled, yet he still looked forlorn and tense.  Claire slowly undressed him, kissing him as she went.  All she wanted was to help him forget the pain for a while. When they were both naked, Jamie pulled her hair back and kissed her forcefully.

“I want to hold you like a kitten in my shirt, and still I want to spread your thighs and plow ye like a rutting bull. I dinna understand myself”, Jamie told her as he stared into her eyes.  He sat on the edge of the bed and pulled her down towards him, her knees straddling his hips.  She pulled on the red curls at the nape of his neck, forcing him to look upward at her and kissed him hard, nibbling his lower lip.  Then she ran her hand over his erection and said with conviction: “Jamie, do it now.  And don’t be gentle.”

He rolled her on to her back and entered her forcefully.  “Christ, Sassenach. I need ye.”  He thrust into Claire with urgency, and she lifted her hips to maximise the impact.  Neither of them was holding anything back, biting and thrashing one another, and Claire was screaming at Jamie that she wanted more.  “Jamie … please.  Harder, more.”  He gasped as he filled her.  “Christ Claire, where have ye been all my life”.

They finally laid with their backs on the bed, panting from the exertion of frantic love making.  They were both exhausted.

“Jamie did that help?”, Claire gasped.

“Help?  Christ Claire, I can barely remember my own name ne’er mind what happened an hour ago”, Jamie laughed.

“I was so angry at what that child has to go through, and so hurt when I saw your face, all I could think about was screwing away the anger”, Claire roared.

“Well, I dinna want to see Fergus suffer, but I’m hoping ye get angry quite regularly Sassenach”, Jamie smiled as Claire smacked his thigh.

“Cheeky bastard”, she teased as she rolled toward him and nibbled his ear.

After some post-coitus kissing and fondling, the two of them showered, dressed and waited for Fergus’ return.  When the boy was returned to their care, they made a fuss of him, ordered pizzas to pick up and drove over to Claire’s yet to be organised new home.  Claire put a tablecloth on the floor and they sat on the carpet, supported by pillows and cushions.  Claire told them about eating with the Bedouin in huge tents in the desert near Petra, Jordan, when she travelled with her Uncle Lamb, and herding camels and goats.  Fergus decided he wanted a tent and a camel.

When they had eaten all the pizza and drunk all the fizzy drink, Claire reminded Fergus that she had a surprise for him.  She told him to close his eyes and held her hands over them, then led him to the spare bedroom.  When she lifted her hands, he could see that Claire had set up a bed for him in one corner, and in another was a small race track and a new box of assorted Matchbox race cars.  He thanked her and then excitedly opened the box and tried each of the cars on the track. 

Claire managed to find a box of tea bags and a jar of coffee in one of the removal boxes and made a hot drink for herself and Jamie.  When they returned to the spare bedroom, Fergus was laying on the bed with a collection of cars fast asleep.  The boy was exhausted enough by all that had happened that day to sleep in a different bed.

“Ugh, we have to work tomorrow Jamie.  Do you want to stay here or take Fergus home?”, Claire asked.

“Well, I would like to try yer new bed Claire, for a house warming of sorts, but I will need to be up early in the morning to get Fergus ready”.  Jamie was looking at Claire with a smirk as he added: “I don’t suppose ye’re a wee bit angry about anything are ye Claire?”

“You bloody Scot, do you ever run out of energy?”, Claire giggled.

Jamie put his arm around her neck and kissed the top of her head.  “Claire, the first day I met you I knew that I wanted you more than I ever wanted anything in my life **.** Nothing’s changed _mo chidre”._

Claire stood on her tiptoes, put one hand behind Jamie’s neck and kissed him.

“I’ve known I’m an outlander for some time, but what does _mo chidre_ mean?”, Claire asked.

“My heart”, smiled Jamie.  “Thank you for everything ye did for Fergus today.  The lad needs to know that there are people who understand what he’s been through and who care for him.  Ye showed him ye can be brave for him and I love ye for it, Claire.”

“No child should have to go through that, Jamie.  How can they heal when they are forced to see someone who hurt them?”, Claire told him.

“That’s The Naked Truth”, Jamie whispered.


	9. Recollections

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Two steps forward, one step back? This chapter is more two steps back.
> 
> On a roll, so I'm going with it.
> 
> This chapter somehow flew out of the fingers.

 

Over the following weeks, Jamie and Claire became used to spending time at one another’s homes.  Fergus was becoming increasingly relaxed with Claire and would remain at home with her while Jamie went for a run or to the gym.  It allowed Jamie to have more free time and bode well for the transition to school, which was Fergus’ next life hurdle.

One evening, Jamie was at the gym a little longer than usual and Fergus was due to go to bed.  However, Fergus _never_ went to bed willingly without his special pillow, affectionately known as Cush, pronounced “coosh”.  Claire tried calling Jamie to see if it was in his car, but her calls went directly to his message bank.  Fergus was getting increasingly agitated.

Claire had searched every room except Jamie’s study, a room he told her was for business records.  She’d never ventured into this space, but Fergus was borderline frantic, so she decided to take a look.  She peeked into the room and flicked the light switch.  When she saw the walls of the room she quickly stepped in and closed the door behind her.

On two walls of the room were countless photographs of Fergus.  Some of them were clearly taken in hospital rooms and showed a younger Fergus with cuts, abrasions, bruises, burns, intravenous drips, and a plaster cast on one arm.  She looked in horror as she saw the extent of this child’s suffering.  Why wasn’t this woman in gaol?  On another wall was a dart board.  Pinned to it was a perforated photograph of a blonde woman with large blue eyes.  She removed the pin to get a better look at what she guessed was a photograph of the infamous Annalise.

Just moments after she unpinned the photograph, the door opened, and Jamie entered looking anxious.  He reached towards her and grabbed the photograph from Claire’s grasp, growling: “Give me that _now!_ ”

Claire cowered against the wall, trembling.  She looked up in horror, but she didn’t see Jamie – she saw Frank.  She didn’t see a hand grabbing a photograph – she saw Frank’s fist and was sure it would hit her face.  Fear gripped her and, just as she had months before, she said to herself:

“Get out now Beauchamp”.  And she did.

As she ran for the door, she vaguely heard her name being called and the crying of a child, but she kept running and didn’t stop until she had found her way to Geillis’ door.  She was gasping for breath, her heart was racing, and there was sweat running down her neck and back.  She knocked at the door and kept knocking until Geillis answered, then she ran into the bathroom and vomited.

Geillis had one arm around Claire’s back in seconds, the other holding her hair away from her face and supporting her shaking body.

“Christ Claire, what the hell is going on?”, she asked.

“Just give me a few minutes.  Can I have a glass of water please?”, Claire gasped.

Claire perched on the side of the bath trying to control her breathing.  She was still gasping, and her heart was pounding.  Her head was thumping. Geillis returned with a cold glass of water and sat next to her while she slowly drank it.

“I need to tell you some things”, Claire told her.  They moved into the lounge room.

Claire talked for nearly half an hour, almost completely uninterrupted by Geillis.  As she talked, she saw Geillis reach for two boxes of tissues – one box for Claire and the other for herself.  She told her about Fergus, his French mother, the photographs she had found, the violence and the monthly access visits Fergus had endured, what Jenny had told her, the photo on the dart board, and finally her vision of Frank when Jamie growled at her and raised his large hand.  By the time she finished, Claire was physically and emotionally exhausted.

Claire was used to Geillis being her loud, ballsy friend who told her off and made her laugh with her acerbic wit.  The Geillis sitting in front of her was quieter and reflective.  It was a revelation.  Geillis moved to sit on an ottoman directly in front of Claire and held both of Claire’s hands.

“I dinna think now is the time to tell ye to calm down or question anything ye’ve told me, Claire.  I’m going to get ye something to eat and drink, then ye can have a shower and sleep in the room ye’re used to.  I’m going to call the hospital and tell them ye won’t be in for a few days”, Geillis told her.

Claire realised she had left her bag at Jamie’s in her hurry to get away, including her wallet, mobile and house keys.

“Ye’ll give me Jamie’s address and I’ll go fetch them for ye, Claire.  Dinna fash, I won’t say anything about this to him.  He’ll know ye’re safe and to give ye some space.  Alright?”  Geillis was calm and caring, rather like being enveloped in a soft, warm blanket on a cold day Claire thought.

“Thank you, Geillis.  Thank goodness you were here”.  Claire gulped, “I don’t know what I’d have done if you hadn’t been here.”

“Well, ye dinna need to worry.  I’m here and I’ve got yer back.  Now, I’ll fetch ye some sandwiches and coffee and then I’ll get yer bag, right?”, Geillis said soothingly.

After preparing some food and drink for Claire, Geillis got Jamie’s address and her car keys and headed for his house.  As she approached the front door, she could hear Jamie’s voice sounding frantic.  She knocked, and he ran to the door with his phone in his hand.

“I’ll ring ye back Jenny.  Claire’s friend is here.  I won’t be long, promise”, Jamie said down the phone.

“Ye look like shit, Jamie”, Geillis said with a wry smile.  “I’ve no’ come to tell ye off or argue with ye, I’ve just come to collect Claire’s bag.”

The anxiety in Jamie’s face worried her.  The man was panicky, and she could hear Fergus crying from another room.  She reached out and touched his arm:

“Jamie, come sit down for a few minutes.  Claire is safe, very upset but safe.  Are ye going to be alright?”, she asked him.

“I’ve made a mess of things, haven’t I?  She hates me, doesn’t she?  Geillis, I didna mean to frighten her.  Claire is the best thing that’s ever happened to me, and when she ran from me because I terrified her I swear a part of me died.”  Jamie was finding it difficult to speak without shaking.  

“I canna speak for Claire but I dinna think it’s you she’s scared of, it’s what happened months ago.  She’s staying at my place, she’s OK and ye can talk when ye’ve both settled down.  Now, is there someone I can call to be here with ye?”, Geillis asked.

“My sister, Jenny, could come down or my cousin Rupert lives close by”, Jamie told her.

“Well, I’m calling Rupert now and I’ll no’ leave until he’s here with ye”.  Geillis got Rupert’s number from Jamie, called him and asked him to come straight away.  Knowing what Jamie had suffered in the past few years, Rupert dropped everything and was there in little more than five minutes.  When he arrived, Geillis answered the door and introduced herself:

“I couldna go until I knew Jamie had someone close to watch him. Please remind him to call Jenny back.  She’s probably worried. I must get back to Claire”, she told him and pecked him on the cheek.  “Seems Claire and Jamie are both good people with fine friends”, she smiled.  Rupert watched her as she left.  “She’s lovely”, he thought as he headed into the house to see Jamie and Fergus.

When Geillis returned home, she found Claire asleep.  She rang Joe as he and Gail knew better than anyone what Claire had suffered at the hands of Frank.

“We’re on our way”, Joe told her.

“Joe, it’s a long way to come”, Geillis replied in amazement.

“Its LJ.  That’s enough.  See you tomorrow”.  Joe put the phone down, asked Gail to get them on the sleeper to Edinburgh, and packed their bags.

 


	10. Trauma trigger

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Old friends arrive to help Claire through a setback.
> 
> In this chapter reference is made to "Ma mère" (my mother) and "votre mère" (your mother).
> 
> A shorter chapter.

 

 

Joe and Gail arrived at Geillis’ apartment just before Geillis left for work. Claire felt like her friends had formed a tag team.  It was an emotional reunion for Claire.  Having calmed down since the events of the day before, she was able to talk to Joe and Gail about all that had happened since she moved to Edinburgh – including her relationship with Jamie and Fergus.

As always, Joe was the voice of reason and Gail the rock of Gibraltar.

“LJ, you are aware that what you experienced was trauma trigger?  It’s not unusual for people to have flashbacks and react accordingly. I had one patient who associated the scent of lavender with a serious abuse situation. Another who shied away from anyone wearing a red coat. The problem is, in your case it sounds like the other parties have also been traumatised.  That makes for a pretty explosive situation”, Joe reasoned.  “Do you think this Jamie would talk with us here?  You both need to bring things into the open if you want this to work.  I guess that’s the issue isn’t it though, LJ.  Do you want it to work?”

Joe had hit the heart of the issue.  Over many years of friendship, Claire had always found that Joe was the philosophical and ethical friend who helped her face situations head on.

“Jamie is a good guy.  I don’t think he necessarily sees himself as a victim.  He focusses on what Fergus has been through and wants to protect him, but maybe he needs some protection too”, Claire reflected.

“Now you sound like the LJ we love”, Gail told her.

The three of them were drinking cups of tea and coffee when there was a quiet knock on the door.  Joe walked over to the door and opened it.  Standing there was Jenny, looking apprehensive.  At first, she wondered if she had the right apartment, then she spotted Claire walking towards her.

“Jenny, what a nice surprise.  Please come in and meet two of my very best friends from London”.  Claire gave her a hug and introduced her to Joe and Gail.  Jenny still looked uncomfortable.

“I dinna want to spoil your reunion, but I was hoping I could speak to ye Claire.  I hope Joe and Gail won’t mind hearing what I have to say but I canna waste time as there’s a wee lad downstairs who insists he needs to see you”, she explained.

“Fergus is downstairs on his own?”, Claire looked puzzled.

“No, Jamie is with him.  Claire, we canna console the lad.  He’s convinced ye left because ye were angry with him.  He needs to see ye if he’s to settle down.  Would you mind?”.  Jenny looked anxious, then Joe placed a hand on her arm.

“Jenny, Claire has told us what happened.  That’s why we came.  I’ll go downstairs and get them.  You stay here with Claire and Gail”.  Joe rose from his seat and briefly left the apartment, returning with an exhausted looking Jamie and Fergus.  When Claire held out her arms to him, Fergus ran to her crying.  She sat with him on her lap and he finally composed himself and spoke:

F: “I was naughty. You ran away.”

C: “Fergus, I didn’t go away because you were naughty.”

F: “Why you go?”

C: “I was reminded of a time when someone hurt me a lot and it frightened me”.

Claire looked up to see Jamie leaning on the wall, his face down and his shoulders slumped.  Jenny was holding his arm.

F: “Ma mère hurt me ‘cos I was naughty.”

C: “I know votre mère hurt you, but not because you were naughty. I think votre mère didn’t know how to look after you.”

F: “You know how to look after me.”

C: “Yes, I like looking after you, Fergus.”

F: “So, you come home?”

C: “I think I need to talk to your Da first.”

Claire looked up as Jamie’s red eyes met hers.

F: “He’s sad.”

C: “Is he?”

F: “Yes, he’s sad ‘cos you ran away.”

C: “I’ve been sad too.”

F: “I give you my red car.  That make you better. You come home and play with me and Da.”

C: “You don’t need to give me your red car, Fergus.”

F: “I want to.  I love you.  Da love you.”

C: “I love you too, Fergus.  I don’t need your red car to love you.”

F: “You love Da too?”

Jenny winced as Jamie dropped his head on to her shoulder, stifling his tears.

C: “Yes, I do love your Da Fergus.  He’s a good guy, isn’t he?”

Claire carried Fergus over to Jamie.  “Let’s give him a hug, shall we?”, Claire said as Jamie reached out and held her and Fergus close.  Claire heard a muffled “I’m so verra sorry Claire” as Jamie kissed her cheek.

Joe was the first to speak.  “Jamie, now we know there is love in the house I’d like to go for a walk with you.  Is that OK?  It won’t take long.”

“Aye, I’d like that”, Jamie told him.

Claire took Fergus into the kitchen and found him something to eat and drink, reassuring him that everything was fine – and no, he didn’t need to give away his red car.  Gail talked to Jenny about her family and Lallybroch.  Meanwhile, Joe and Jamie picked up coffees from a nearby shop and walked through the park.  Joe went into detail about the way Frank treated Claire.  Jamie realised that Claire had only told him the abridged version of her failed marriage to Frank.  Then Joe stopped and looked Jamie directly in the eyes:

“If you are going to make this work, you and Claire are going to have to be open and honest.  You need to know that Claire is second only to my wife in my life.  She’s a wonderful woman and a brilliant doctor, but she’s not perfect.  Neither are you.  I need to know that you will take care of her and that you will love and respect her, or you need to walk away now.”

“Joe, Claire is the best thing that’s ever happened to me.  I can give ye my pledge that I will never do anything to hurt her”, Jamie told him.

“Good.  I came a long way to hear that.  Now we can share some beers.  Can you recommend any Scottish beers?”, Joe asked.

“Sheepshaggers Gold or Kilt Lifter IPA?”, Jamie half-smiled as the two men headed to the closest off licence.


	11. Sense of direction

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After a major hiccup in their relationship, Jamie and Claire move forward.
> 
> Thanks to all those who commented about the impact of trauma trigger. Anyone who has experienced a panic attack knows how overwhelming it can feel.

 

By the time Joe and Jamie got back to Geillis’ apartment, Jenny had invited Joe and Gail to visit Lallybroch on their next visit.  Fergus was calmer and was clearly reassured by Claire.  Jamie patiently waited until Claire went to the kitchen and followed her.  He shut the door behind him.

“Claire, I need to talk to ye.  I need to know things are right between us”.  He reached out and she walked into his arms.

“Jamie, I wasn’t angry with you and it wasn’t your fault.  I had what’s known as trigger trauma.  It was so real, I just had to get out of the house.  I didn’t mean to hurt you”, Claire told him.

“When ye told Fergus that ye loved me, did you mean it?”.  His brow furrowed as he said it, seemingly wanting to know but dreading the answer.

“Yes, Jamie.  I did.  You’re a wonderful man, a brilliant father and a good person.  I just need to take time to leave my past behind and settle into this life.  Are you prepared to wait while I sort that out?”, Claire looked at him in anticipation.

“Aye.  I waited my life to find ye and I intend to spend the rest of my life with ye.  We have plenty of time, Claire.  Christ, you frightened me Sassenach.  But some good came from it too”

“How so?” asked Claire as she ran her hand over his neck.

“I never knew that Fergus thought his mother hurt him because he was naughty. The lad was so small he couldna really talk about it, and I should have.  I didn’t know just how badly Frank treated ye until Joe told me.  I didn’t know how wonderful yer friends are and how much they love ye.  Geillis was so kind, Joe is great, and Gail has a wonderful warmth about her.  Jenny thinks they’re great and my sister is no’ easily impressed.  It’s good that Jenny kens what you’ve been through too, even if only the tip of the iceberg.”

Jamie pulled her closer: “But most of all, I realised how frightened I was when I thought I might lose ye and what a wonderful impact ye’ve had on my life and that of my son.  You are our home now, Sassenach.  Please, don’t ever run from us again.”

Jamie and Claire kissed and then returned to the rest of the gathering with their arms around one another.  The relief was palpable.

The time was getting close for Geillis to come home from work, so they cleared the dirty dishes and cleaned her flat ready for her return.  When she returned, Geillis found a note from Claire:

_You are the best friend.  When Joe and Gail have returned to London, I want to take you out for dinner and show you just how much I love and appreciate you, that is we’ll get pissed together.  xoxox_

Jamie took Jenny and Fergus to his home, while Claire took Joe and Gail to her messy new home.  Gail worked her magic with Claire and things were orderly a few hours later.  Joe set up the new router and Wi-Fi and linked Claire’s laptop and tablet.

Having established a sense of order, Joe relaxed in the comfortable lounge and drank his Sheepshaggers Gold, while Claire and Gail made pots of tea and dunked their biscuits.  Claire insisted they have her large bed, while she would curl up in the smaller bed she’d set up for Fergus.

A reflective Joe told Claire: “I like Jamie.  The man’s had it tough and I can’t comprehend how he must have suffered, but he’s resilient and he’s authentic.  I think you two can get through this and give that sweet lad the security he needs.  It ain’t gonna be easy though, Lady Jayne.  What is it you say?  Two steps forward and one step back?”

“Joe, what did you tell Jamie about Frank?”, Claire asked.

“The truth, LJ.  Not your truth, the _whole_ shit bag.  He needed to know what you’d been through to understand why you ran.  I think he really gets it now.  I think there’s a whole lot more he needs to tell you about Fergus and his mother too, and that might be a truth you don’t wanna hear but he’ll need to tell.  It’ll take time, but I know you can do it, Lady Jayne.  You’re tough but you’re kind too.”

“Hallelujah to that, Joe”, said Gail. 

“What would I do without you two?”, Claire said as she kissed each of them on their cheeks.

“You’ll find out tomorrow night, LJ.  We’ll be back on that sleeper train and heading South, but we’ll be back in the middle of summer to take Jenny up on the offer to stay at Lallybroch.  Sounds idyllic.”

“I’ll mark it on the calendar and count down the sleeps”, Claire told them.

The 3 friends spent the next 20 hours sleeping, eating, walking round Edinburgh, laughing, reminiscing and just enjoying each other’s company.  When Joe and Gail had left on the late sleeper train, Claire caught a taxi to Jamie’s house and knocked on the door.  Fergus was fast asleep, so she and Jamie shared some wine and cheese and chatted about the previous few days.

She and Jamie looked at one another differently somehow.  The looks they gave one another were of two people who had learned a great deal about themselves and one another.  They had a deeper understanding of where they were at and how to move forward.  There was a heightened level of comfort and familiarity.

Jamie held Claire close and asked her: “Claire, can we just go to bed and hold one another?  Just enjoy being together again?  It’s no’ that I don’t want you, it’s more that I just need to feel ye’re back.”

“I’ll never run from you again, Jamie”, she replied.

As they lay in bed, Jamie told Claire: “Ye know, I’ve never seen Fergus so comfortable with a woman.  The way he sat on yer lap, told ye he loves ye and wanted ye to come home.  Ye’ve had a real impact in his life, and I love ye even more for it.  After you found all the photos in that room, I thought about how I’ve lived in the past for too long. I think I need to store all those photos away and put that part of our lives behind us.  I need to move on and so does he.”

“Sounds good.  But there is something else Jamie”, Claire smiled.

“What’s that Sassenach?”.

“Well, you might not want me, but I think your penis thinks differently”, Claire laughed.  He smacked her on the arse and she giggled.

“Aye, well he does have a mind of his own and he’s got an excellent sense of direction when it comes to ye”, Jamie said as he rolled towards her.

“Do you think we should help him out?”, she said kissing Jamie’s forehead.

“I suppose it’s the only humane thing to do”, he said as he grabbed her arse and pulled her towards him.  “After all, he’s verra glad ye’re back Sassenach.”

There was no need for frantic lovemaking this time.  Jamie’s fingers ran over her body, making her shiver with delight.  She kissed him gently and followed that kiss with a passionate caress that told him just how ready she was. She rolled on to her back and whispered: “Come find me Jamie”, as he moved into her smoothly.  They slept well that night.

When Fergus woke in the morning, he was delighted to find them in bed together and dived between them for a cuddle and tickle.

“You comed back!”, he cried as Claire blew a raspberry on his face.


	12. Off to school

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Fergus' next life challenge is the start of school. Jamie finds it all more challenging that he'd expected.
> 
> If the measures described in this chapter seem a bit over the top, please know that they are a composite of procedures I have experienced in various schools over time.

 

Jamie soon discovered that preparing Fergus for school was going to be more complex than buying him a bag and a uniform and dropping him at the gate.  He arrived home with a pile of paper work to complete for Primary 1.  He’d anticipated the need for application forms, and birth and vaccination certificates, but there was a special section for children who had been involved in custody disputes and child protection orders.

“I didna think this would be necessary, Sassenach”, Jamie told her looking perplexed.  “The lad lives with me and always has.”

“Think about it, Jamie.  The school needs to know if a disgruntled parent or grandparent might just arrive at the school gate and take a child.  They can’t prepare for something they know nothing about.  I see it in the hospital, when separated or divorced parents disagree about anything from a bandage to surgery.  It’s a legal minefield”, Claire told him.

“Maybe we should talk to the principal about it eh?”  Jamie’s look confirmed what he was thinking – he wanted Claire to go with him.

“You’re giving me the puppy dog eyes, Jamie.  The “pretty please” look that you know I can’t resist”, she teased.

“Pretty please?”, he said with his bottom lip out.

“Christ, it’s not hard to see where Fergus got _that_ look from.  OK, but it’ll have to be at a time when I’m not on consults.  I’ll have a look at my schedule and let you know”, she said.

So it was that Jamie, Claire and Fergus were sitting outside the principal’s office on a Friday afternoon before school was scheduled to return for the next term.  The school secretary had told them that the school counsellor would also be in attendance.  Jamie had provided them with court documents prior to the meeting to put them in the picture.

The principal began the meeting, not wasting any time getting to the point.  Mr Cameron certainly knew his stuff.

“Mr Fraser, the school has a duty of care for all pupils and we take that very seriously.  We have students under child protection orders, children who are in danger of child trafficking, neglected children, children who are the subject of custody orders and so on.  Obviously, the circumstances of individual students remain confidential, but the school has had to develop policies and systems which protect these children whenever possible.  I’ll hand over to the school counsellor.”

Mrs Fitzgibbons had a kind face and a soothing voice.  She focussed on Fergus, although her words for everyone.  “What we’d like to do for Fergus is to bring him to the drop-off and pick-up room at the beginning and end of each day.  We record the child’s arrival and provide them with a wee breakfast and then their class teacher picks them up from here.  At the end of the day, his class teacher would bring Fergus back to this room and he can have a drink and something to eat while he waits.  Only an authorised person is allowed to pick him up.  We keep photos of authorised people on a board.  Usually there are two or three people for each child.  Do you have any questions?”

Jamie was looking concerned, and Claire picked up on his rising levels of tension.  “Why does it need to be at the beginning _and_ the end of the day, Mrs Fitzgibbons?”

“Well, we have to leave the school gates unlocked when the children are arriving and leaving, and that’s when there’s most likely to be problems”, she replied.

“What sort of problems?”.  Jamie was sitting forward in his chair.  Given his height and build, he could look quite threatening without meaning to.  Claire had seen how people could respond before.  She placed her hand on his arm.

“Jamie, I think I understand what Mrs Fitzgibbons is saying.  They want to be sure the vulnerable children are being supervised when so many people are coming and going.  Someone might grab a child at those busy times”, Claire said in as soothing a tone as she could manage.

“ **Grab** a child?”, Jamie said in a troubled tone.  “Has that happened before?”  His face was taking on a look of alarm.

“No, Mr Fraser, but only because we have systems in place to stop it”, Mr Cameron interjected.  “We can’t have different systems for each child, so we have a blanket policy.  At the moment, out of a student population of 250 we have 24 children who go to the drop-off and pick-up room.  That’s less than 10% of our students who are considered vulnerable, and some other schools have a higher proportion.  For most of these children, it’s a precaution but we think it’s one worth taking.  The welfare of the children is paramount.”

Claire knew that Fergus picked up on Jamie’s fears quickly, so she turned to Fergus: “Did you hear that Fergus?  You can have _two_ breakfasts – one at home and another one when you get to school.  Sounds good, doesn’t it?”

Fergus was always hungry, so he looked pleased with this idea.  He nodded and smiled.

Mrs Fitzgibbons took the Fraser boys and Claire to the drop-off room and showed them how well it was equipped – a big fridge, cups and plates, plenty of toys, reading and writing materials, brightly painted chairs and desks, a TV mounted on the wall and, on one wall, photographs of the children and their authorised people.  Fergus looked quite happy with it all.  Jamie wasn’t.  Claire thanked Mrs Fitzgibbons and told her she would arrange for photos and details of Jamie, Rupert and herself.  She wanted to get Jamie out of the place and find out what was bugging him.  As they were about to go, Claire asked: “Hypothetically, if a child was grabbed what would happen?”

Mrs Fitzgibbons stifled a laugh.  “Oh, all the children have been taught to stand still and scream as loud as possible.  They love it when we rehearse.  You can hear them from two blocks away!  Either the person will run off or the staff will know all about it straight away, and they know what to do.”

“Thank you so much, Mrs Fitzgibbons.  I’m very impressed with the procedures you’ve put in place.  I look forward to meeting you when Fergus begins at the school.”  Claire smiled and led Jamie back to the car quickly.

Claire spent the evening dousing Jamie’s grumbles and being as positive as possible.  Once Fergus was in bed, asleep, she poured Jamie a whisky and one for herself.  She handed the glass to him.

“Why are ye pushing this down me?”, he complained as he drank.

“Because you’re a bear with a sore head”, Claire replied.

“I think we should look at another school, Claire.  These people want to lock the lad up.”

“OK Jamie, you go and find a school that _doesn’t_ take any of these precautions and see how you feel when a child is grabbed by a violent parent or some other person, but don’t involve _me_ in your plans.” Claire’s declaration had a definite tone of finality and Jamie didn’t miss the intonation.

“Why aren’t you supporting _me_ on this, Claire?”, a grumpy Jamie asked.

“Because I think I know what Annalise is capable of, Jamie.  Have you got a short memory?”, Claire asked him.

Jamie filled his whisky tumbler a second time: “No”.  He drank his whisky, put on his jacket and went for a walk.  When he returned half an hour later, he put his arm around Claire, kissed her and told her: “Christ, I hate it when ye’re right.  I just dinna want to see the boy punished for what happened for the rest of his life.”

“Keep talking about it and we might need to have angry sex”, Claire smiled.

“Can we just bypass the talking and get to the angry sex?”, Jamie said running his hand down her back and pinching her arse.  He threw her over his shoulder and headed towards the bedroom.


	13. R.I.P.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> No special collage for this chapter. Instead a photograph of Rosie and Luke Batty, mother and son, before Luke was murdered by his own father with a cricket bat and knife. Luke was 11. He was killed at his cricket club, in front of his mother and friends. Despite her loss, Rosie took on the mantle of domestic violence spokesperson and was voted Australian of the Year. She recently decided to take a back seat and take time to grieve. She is a remarkable woman and remains one of my heroes.
> 
> The coroner commented: “There was no judicial power to mandate Anderson [Luke’s father] to be assessed by a forensic psychiatrist before being granted access to Luke. There were too many delays in the judicial system. Charges of unlawful assault against Rosie Batty had not been heard at the time of Luke’s death almost a year later. I agree with Ms Batty that there was an absence of effective information sharing between services and there was no comprehensive family violence risk assessment undertaken and shared.”
> 
> It begs the question: just who is the system designed to protect?

 

Fergus made a good start to school.  Jamie had to concede that the drop-off room worked well, particularly as another child in Fergus’ class also waited there and the two boys played together before and after school.  Their class teacher was an energetic man who Fergus idolised, even if he found it difficult to pronounce his name – Mr Manicotti was soon shortened to Mr Man.

Jamie picked him up from school twice a week, Claire also twice a week and Rupert once.  Rupert had insisted that Fergus needed to know he could count on him, and Jamie was grateful for his cousin’s support.  Claire suspected that Rupert was also intent on building up his image (and his confidence) to ask Geillis out.  Her kindness to Jamie when Claire had run away had not been forgotten (Rupert also conceded that the long auburn hair was an attraction).

Jamie had had a frantic day at Viking Tours during a particularly busy tourism period. Temporary staff members had been recruited to help and it was one of them who approached him as he was speaking to a German tourist.

“Jamie, I thought you’d gone to pick up your son from school”, she said casually.

“No, Claire’s collecting him today.  What made you think I’d gone?”, he asked.

“I answered a phone call about 15 minutes ago.  A woman wanting to know if you were picking him up. You weren’t in your office, so I told her I thought you’d left.”

“That’s strange.  Did she say who she was?”, he asked puzzled.

“No, she didn’t leave a name.  She did have a French accent though.”

Jamie froze.  “Did she know the name of the school?”, he asked warily.

“Aye.  She said she’d be sure to catch up with you at Royal Mile Primary.”

Jamie checked he had his car keys and mobile in his pocket and ran to his car.  He set up his phone on speaker and rang Rupert.

“Rupert are ye anywhere near Royal Mile Primary right now?”, he asked frantically.

“I can be there in less than ten minutes, I guess.  Is everything alright Jamie?”.  Rupert had picked up on the desperate tone in Jamie’s voice.

“Look man, I believe Annalise is going to Fergus’ school.  I’m on my way. I dinna know what to expect, but Claire is picking Fergus up today and she’s never seen the bitch in the flesh”, Jamie spat out the words.  “If she approaches her, she willna know who she is.”

“Christ, I’m on my way Jamie.  I’ll see you there”.  Rupert hung up his phone and ran to his car.

Jamie swore at traffic lights, pedestrians, cyclists and anyone or anything else that slowed him down.  He tried to reassure himself that Fergus would be in the pick-up room and that Annalise probably wouldn’t know Claire from all the other mothers at the school.  He thanked God and anyone else who was listening that Claire had insisted on the school with a special room for vulnerable children.  But he was still terrified.  There was nothing rational about Annalise, so it was difficult to predict what she might intend to do.  His fingers were tapping nervously on the steering wheel and he felt a tightening band-like sensation around his head, a feeling he was familiar with at times of stress.

Claire had had a busy day and had been briefly delayed by a parent wanting to thank her for the successful surgery she had performed on his son.  Being only five minutes late meant that she had to park some distance from the school and leg it to the school gate.  She was preoccupied with what she planned to cook for dinner and wondered if she had enough onions for the casserole.

Mr Manicotti was one of the two teachers rostered on to supervise the pick-up room, so she had a brief chat with him about Fergus’ progress before leaving.  She and Fergus were crossing the school grounds when Fergus suddenly froze and stared to the right.

“What is it Fergus?”, Claire asked.  “What’s going on?”

Fergus pointed to a woman who was fast approaching them.  Claire’s eyes looked in the direction he was pointing.  There was a blonde woman heading towards them.  She was carrying something, but Claire couldn’t make out what it was at first.  A moment later, she saw it glint in the sun and recognised what it was as the woman raised a metal baseball bat. 

“Ma mère”, Fergus said in fear.

Claire remembered what Mrs Fitzgibbons had told her.  She started to scream.  In moments, every child still in the school grounds was screaming.  Mr Manicotti flew out of the pick-up room, shouting to another teacher: “Ring the school bell and call the police.” 

Annalise was still pacing towards them.  Children were screaming, the school bell was ringing.

“Fergus, run to Mr Man”, Claire shouted.  “Now!”

Fergus hesitated.  “Do it!  Now!”  Claire shouted again.  Fergus ran to the arms of Mr Manicotti, shaking like a leaf in a considerable breeze.  Claire stood her ground, waiting until she was sure Fergus was safe.

Annalise continued to pace towards Claire.  She had the baseball bat firmly in both hands, raised above her head, shouting: “He’s _my_ child and I’ll kill him before I let you have him you bitch. Or I’ll kill you!”  Annalise was so focussed on Claire, she didn’t see or hear Rupert running in from her left.  Claire was backing away from Annalise when Rupert displayed his rugby tackling technique and brought Annalise to the ground with a thud.  The edge of the bat hit Claire’s knee, and she fell backwards, hitting her head and winding herself as she hit the ground.

Rupert wrenched the bat from Annalise’s hands and pulled her right arm up her back, sinking his knee into her back to be sure she couldn’t move.

Claire was lying on her back, dazed and in shock, when Jamie’s car squealed to a halt outside the school gate and he ran in to the school grounds.  He could see Fergus with Mr Manicotti, he could see Rupert kneeling on the back of a blonde woman he assumed was Annalise, but all he could see of Claire was that she was flat on her back and not moving.  For a moment, he thought Rupert might have been too late. There was a surge of fear, anger and pain through his body.  He’d only felt it once before, on a day when he thought Fergus might not survive the damage inflicted by his mother.  Today he had that same feeling for the woman he loved, his Claire.  He walked towards her, frightened by what he might find.

As Jamie slowed and walked tentatively towards Claire, still lying on her back, two policemen ran past him and took over the supervision of Annalise.  Rupert saw the anguish on Jamie’s face and moved towards him. 

Rupert held Jamie’s arm and reassured him.  “It’s OK Jamie.  Claire and Fergus are alright.  Thank God you rang me, and I got here in time.”

Jamie quite simply broke down.  Rupert held him as he sank to his knees and sobbed at Claire’s side.  She sat up and he embraced her.  Fergus ran to be with his father, Claire and Rupert.  Others looked on at the emotional scene, stunned.

Mr Manicotti, Mr Cameron and Mrs Fitzgibbons were congratulating all the children on following the screaming rule and thanking them for saving the day.  Many of the parents were in shock and held their children close as they slowly left, having been reassured that all was well.

Annalise was dragged away by the police, who asked witnesses to go to the police station to make statements.  They would be at the school the following morning to talk to the school community too.

Some minutes passed before Claire and Jamie were able to stand, supported by Rupert and Mr Manicotti.  Fergus was clinging to Jamie.  Mrs Fitzgibbons invited them all into the staff room and plied them with tea and coffee.  Mr Manicotti took Jamie’s car keys and moved his car to the school car park – no way was he going to be allowed to drive tonight.

When Jamie could finally speak, he embraced Rupert.  “How can I thank ye for what ye did today, Rupert?  I don’t have the words.  Another few minutes and Claire could be dead.  Or Fergus.  Maybe both. Christ man – I’d give my life for ye.”

“Aye, I know ye would.  That’s why I ran when ye called.  This could lead to the biggest piss-up we’ve ever seen, Jamie.  With any luck, Annalise will be put in gaol and they’ll throw away the key.  We can all drink to that.”

 

 


	14. Packing away the past

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Claire, Jamie and Fergus have survived the wrath of Annalise, and now look to the future.

 

Jamie, Claire and Fergus were exhausted when they arrived back at Jamie’s home.  Rupert had promised to contact Geillis and let her know what was going on.  (He was not so secretly delighted to have a reason to call her.)

Jamie laid on Fergus’ bed with him, while Claire read his favourite book, _The Enormous Crocodile_ by Roald Dahl.  His night light was left on, his head was on Cush and he had a firm grip on Babar, his stuffed elephant.  When he was comfortably asleep, Jamie and Claire crept out of his room and fell onto the couch, each with a glass of wine.

“Christ Claire, that was too close.  How are you feeling now?”, Jamie asked.

“I’m having difficulty believing any of that happened.  My sore leg is a reminder.  I’ve always thought Rupert was built for comfort not for speed, but he was amazing.  Thank goodness he maintained his rugby training”, Claire smiled.

“Why didn’t ye run from her, Claire?  I don’t understand that”, Jamie mused.

“I wanted to be sure Fergus was safe.  He froze when he saw her.  The poor child was terrified.  He’s going to need some counselling after this, Jamie.  This has to have set him back”, Claire told Jamie.

“Aye.  I’ll need to talk to Ned about the legalities too.  There’s no way she can continue to have even supervised access to Fergus after this.  I need to understand the process as well as being sure she’s charged for the threats she made to ye, Claire”.

“Jamie, has she always been crazy?”, Claire looked at Jamie to see his response.

“When I met Annalise, we were in our first year at University.  I had just left home for the first time, I was living in a foreign country, and she was very pretty and flirty.  I was naïve and gullible, and looking back I think she was probably manipulative from day one.  I did whatever she wanted, thinking it was the best way to keep her happy.  What I was doing was creating a monster.  Before long, she was controlling me and making me believe I couldn’t cope without her.  She steadily eroded my confidence.  Everything really fell apart when she got pregnant.”  Jamie paused, and Claire sensed that there was something he didn’t want to tell her.

“Did you love her, Jamie?  You can be honest with me, you know.”  Claire was thinking of Joe’s advice that they be honest with one another.

“I thought so at the time.  By the time she had Fergus, I couldn’t see any way out of the mess we’d created.  She began to screw around, and she’d tell me she needed to because I was useless in bed …”  Jamie paused to wipe his eyes.  “She cuckolded me, Claire. She criticised me, hurt Fergus and made our lives hell.  I began to believe there must be something wrong with me because she told me I was hopeless at everything, and I had no idea what to do. If I questioned anything, she’d hurt Fergus again.  I was trapped.” 

Claire could hardly believe what she was hearing: “Jamie, I don’t know what to say.  It’s so far from the truth as to be unbelievable.  You do realise that she abused you, don’t you?”

“She abused Fergus, Claire.  It was her way to punish me”.  Jamie spat out the words.

“She abused Fergus _as well_ ”, she told him.  Claire pulled Jamie toward her and held him.

“James Fraser, you are so gorgeous.  You are a wonderful father to Fergus and he adores you.  Your sister and her husband, Rupert and Angus would walk over broken glass for you.  And Jamie, I love you so much it sometimes hurts”, she told him.

Jamie sat up and looked at her in surprise.  “Hurts?  What do you mean?” 

“The idea that I could ever lose you actually hurts. Geillis told me I should take things slowly and I knew she was right, but I couldn’t because I was afraid I might give the impression I wasn’t crazy about you.  After everything that happened with Frank, I was adamant that I wasn’t going to get involved with anyone, and then you walked into my life and broke down my barriers.  And as for you being useless in bed – well, excuse me!  What a pile of shit.”

There were a few minutes of silence, as Jamie took in what she’d said.  Claire had surprised herself as the words had poured from her.

Jamie smiled:  “Claire, the word happy doesn’t begin to convey how ye make me feel.  Jenny and Ian told me they’d never seen me so elated and they’ve known me all my life.  I wasna sure ye felt as overjoyed as I do.  I canna describe the fear I felt when I saw ye lying on the ground, not moving an inch.  I thought I’d lost ye.  And to know how ye defended Fergus – Christ, ye’re amazing!”

They embraced and kissed.

“Jamie, some days ago you told me that you thought it was time for you to pack those photographs away and put the past behind you.  Maybe we should do that now.  I don’t want Annalise to run our lives any more.  What do you think?” Claire asked.

“Aye.  After today, I think it’s important that we all say “enough”.”

They went into the study and took down all the photos and the dart board.  Jamie went to the garage and found a few boxes to pack them in and sealed the boxes with packing tape, then they carried the boxes to the far corner of the garage and covered them with an old sheet.

“I think that’s symbolic of the end of an era, Jamie.  Our way of telling Annalise she can sod off.  She won’t hurt any of us in the future”, Claire said as Jamie’s arm slipped round her back.

“Christ, what a day Sassenach.”

Later they laid in bed, holding one another.  It was Jamie who spoke first: “Claire, those things you said about me – that’s exactly how I feel about you.  Ian asked me how I felt about you and I told him your face is my heart.  Jenny told me if I didn’t declare how I felt and make you mine I would regret it for the rest of my life.  I’ve had enough regrets, Claire.  I don’t want to waste any time, I want you here with me always.”

“Always is a long time, Jamie”, she sighed.

“Not long enough”, he replied.

Jamie took the next day off work to go to the school with Fergus, but Claire had a busy day at work.  After a busy morning she had lunch with Geillis.  Rupert had already given her an outline of what had happened but hearing it from Claire’s perspective left her gobsmacked.

“So, coming to Edinburgh to get away from yer personal dramas has been a wild success then, Claire”, she laughed.  “Christ, I canna believe what’s happened to you in the past six months or so.  It’s a wonder ye’re still alive”, Geillis declared.

“I’ve always said I was averse to boredom, Geillis, but right now a few months of boredom sounds like bliss”, Claire told her.

“But ye love the Viking and his wee lad, don’t you?  When Rupert told me about you facing up to that bitch, I was so impressed.  I’ve always thought you were the strongest woman I’ve met Claire but knowing that makes you a fucking hero in my eyes.  Jamie is a lucky man.”  Geillis placed her hand on Claire’s: “You two are in it for the long term, aren’t ye?”

“When I left Frank, left London and everything I knew, I was sure I wouldn’t ever commit to anyone again, Geillis.  Jamie has blown all that apart.  I would walk over hot coals for that man”, Claire said looking directly at Geillis. 

“Well, ye may have to.  Ye can be sure Annabitch will no’ go down without a fight.  She’s sure to try the mental health defence, although the way she attacked ye in public will make that a wee bit more difficult.  I hope Jamie realises he’s in for a fight with that woman”, Geillis warned.

“It’s incredible to think she has any rights at all after all she’s done to Jamie and Fergus.  It’s been a nightmare.  I suppose Jamie, Rupert and I will all need to give evidence if it goes to court”, Claire said.

“I plan to be there to support ye all, Claire.  You do know that, don’t ye?”, Geillis asked Claire.

“Geillis, your friendship is so important to me.  How about a movie night with popcorn and plonk on Saturday?”, Claire asked.

“Well … actually … I have a date with Rupert on Saturday”, Geillis told her with a wink and a grin.  “I’ve no’ had dinner with a real-life hero afore”.

 “Aagghh!  That’s wonderful Geillis.  Rupert is such a teddy bear and the most wonderful friend.  That’s so exciting!”  Claire beamed at her friend and the two women settled on a movie night on Sunday, with Claire insisting that she get all the details.

When she got to Jamie’s that night, Claire was full of the budding romance between Rupert and Geillis.

Jamie told her about his time at Fergus’ school.  It had been revealed that Fergus had talked about Claire at his supervised visit with Annalise, and after that Annalise had been seen at the school on several occasions.  No-one questioned it, as they assumed she had a child who was new to the school, but some parents remembered her quite clearly.  Numerous parents had signed witness statements identifying Annalise as the person who attacked Claire and threatened Fergus and confirmed that Rupert’s action were in proportion to the threat to Claire.

“For so long it was difficult to prove what she had done, but this time there is no doubt that it was her.  I hope Fergus won’t have to spend time with her at all after this, Sassenach.  The lad shouldna be forced to keep in contact with a dangerous woman”, Jamie told her.

“There’s still plenty of water to go beneath the bridge, Jamie, but it’s looking hopeful.  It also vindicates you.  You’re a wonderful father, James Fraser, and Fergus loves you so much – as do I”, she said leaning forward and kissing him.

 


	15. Paranoia or panic?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Just when things were supposed to settle down ...

 

Word came to Jamie via his solicitor, Ned, that Annalise had been assessed and deemed fit for trial.  The full details of the psychological assessment would be released to the court, but from what he had heard she was considered to have several personality disorders but was aware of her actions and their consequences.  More concerning was that she had been released on bail, albeit with strict restrictions.  The prosecutor had argued against her receiving bail, but the court had granted it despite their advice. Supervised access visits with Fergus would be suspended until further notice.  She was specifically instructed not to approach Fergus, Jamie, Claire, Rupert or the school Fergus attended.

“Well, it’s a temporary relief.  The court appear to have decided that the premeditated nature of her attack at the school indicated that she was capable of planning and executing a violent crime, and she has been charged with assault and a variety of other lesser charges”, Ned told Jamie.

“Will Rupert have any problems, Ned?”, asked Jamie.

“No, I don’t believe so.  Self-defence is available to an accused where they have acted to protect themselves or another from an imminent and immediate threat to their physical integrity, the actions used in self-defence are necessary and proportionate and there were no means of escape available.  Annalise may try to discredit Rupert, but I believe any accusations will be dismissed by the courts.  It wouldn’t do her any good to follow that course of action, Jamie”, Ned replied.

“Ned, I canna allow her to see Fergus at all after this.  The lad is going to see a play therapist and counsellor recommended by the school.  I found out recently that he believes Annalise hurt him because he was naughty, and this attack has made him nervous again”, Jamie told Ned.

“I think sending Fergus to a therapist is a wise move, Jamie, not just from a psychological point of view but also a legal one.  It can be used in court to stress the impact of prolonged emotional and physical cruelty to the wee lad.  Let the therapist know that you may need a written report for the court”, Ned advised.

“How long is it likely to be before the court case?”, Jamie asked.

“I’m guessing it’ll be heard in 3 or more months, sooner if she pleads guilty”, Ned replied.  “That gives us time to get Fergus into therapy, collect reports and brief Claire and Rupert on the court proceedings.  I think she’ll fight it, so we have to be ready.”

Jamie had arranged to meet Claire, Rupert and Geillis for a drink in the pub immediately after seeing Ned.  When he arrived, they were all waiting for the details of his meeting with Ned.  As Jamie was recounting all that Ned had told him, Rupert nudged him and pointed to a figure standing behind him.  It was Annalise.

Claire immediately told Annalise: “You are not allowed anywhere near us as a condition of your bail, so you can clear off now.  We have nothing to say to you.”

Annalise started abusing Jamie in French, believing that no-one else in the pub would understand what she was saying.

Geillis walked closer to her and stood between Annalise and Jamie:

  
“Tais-toi ou parle anglais. Si vous ne parlez pas anglais, vous pouvez foutre en l'air ‘’, Geillis told her.

 Jamie smiled as Annalise stormed off, slamming the door behind her. “What did you say Geillis?”, Claire asked. 

Jamie laughed and told Claire and Rupert: “She said: “Shut up or speak English.  If you don't speak English, you can fuck off.””

Rupert roared with laughter.  “Geillis, meeting you has been one of the highlights of my life.  That was another.  Magnificent!”  He kissed her on the cheek.

“Geillis, where did you learn to speak French like that?”, Claire laughed.

“I knew five years of school French would come in handy one day, but I dinna think Mrs Craig would be too pleased with me. She never did approve of my vocabulary. I’m the only one here who doesna need to give evidence, so I decided I could tell Annabitch where to go.  AND this is the same pub where Jamie, Rupert and Angus came to our rescue Claire.  Favour repaid.”

After a few drinks, Jamie left to pick up Fergus while Claire went to her own apartment.  Geillis and Rupert stayed on to have a meal.  As she left, Claire peeked back and was delighted to see them rubbing shoulders and laughing.

Claire had retained her own apartment so that she and Jamie could have some free time, and she needed to read articles in medical journals and write reports as part of her job at the hospital.  Jamie had wanted her to move in with him and Fergus, but she had signed a lease and told Jamie they could discuss it closer to the time of renewal of her rental.

She worked into the evening, stopping only for cups of tea and a defrosted meal.  As her eyes tired from looking at her laptop for hours, she sat at the window looking out at the rain falling, filling the gutters.  Some people were well prepared for the deluge, carrying umbrellas and wearing boots.  Others were running down the street holding newspapers over their heads in a vain attempt to keep dry.  The dark clouds overhead indicated there was plenty more rain to fall.

Despite everything that had happened, she did not regret her move to Edinburgh.  It had been wonderful working with Geillis again, and in her wildest dreams she hadn’t expected to fall so thoroughly in love with Jamie.  She had been sitting at the window for almost an hour when she realised that there was one umbrella that had remained stationery almost the entire time.  She thought it odd that someone would stand out in that weather for so long.  She noted down the time, went to have a shower, dried her hair, dressed ready for bed and then peeked out again.  The stationery umbrella was still there, and 20 minutes had passed.  Almost 1 ½ hours standing in a downpour was hardly normal, she thought.  She was still watching as a car pulled up in front of the person with the umbrella and they opened the door, spoke to the driver and then got in.  As a precaution, she decided to take the registration number of the car.  Then she realised it was Jamie’s car.

She wondered what could be going on.  Surely Jamie hadn’t arranged for someone to watch her apartment while they were apart?  She decided to call Jamie, despite it being late.  She tried his landline – no answer.  Then she tried his mobile – straight to his message bank.  Something wasn’t right, but she wasn’t sure what.  She wondered if she was being paranoid or she should panic. She changed back into the clothes she had been wearing, rang for a taxi, checked she had the keys to Jamie’s house and headed out.

When the taxi arrived at Jamie’s house, Claire could see there were lights on.  Why hadn’t Jamie answered either phone, she wondered? Why wasn’t his car in the drive? She paid the taxi driver and walked slowly toward the house, checking for any signs of disturbance in the street.  As she approached the front door with caution, she realised the door was ajar.  Jamie would never have taken that chance.  He had security locks on the doors and windows.  Annalise had brought out the paranoid in him too. Now she knew something was amiss. 

She gently pushed the front door open, then took a step back.  Nothing.  She rang Jamie’s mobile phone and could hear it ringing inside the house, but again she went straight to the message bank.  She took a few steps inside the front door and peered into the living area, which was lit up like a Christmas tree.  Papers, toys and clothes were strewn around the room.  Now she was frightened.

She rang for the police and told them what she had found.  The operator advised her not to enter but to wait outside the house until a patrol car arrived.  Ten minutes felt like a full working day, but eventually they arrived.  The police checked the outside of the house for any sign of intruders or people lurking but found nothing.  They then slowly entered the house, signalling to one another.  Claire remained outside like a cat on hot bricks, shuffling from foot to foot.  Her nerves weren’t on edge – they’d disappeared down a cliff somewhere on the coast of Scotland.

Finally, one of the policemen beckoned her to go inside.  She ran in and they led her to the study.  Jamie was on the floor unconscious and his filing cabinet had been wrenched open.  There were papers everywhere.  The police told her not to touch anything and called for an ambulance.  After her initial shock, Claire said to them: “The little boy, Fergus.  Where is he?”

“There’s no child in the house, Madam”, the police said to her.

“Christ, she’s taken Fergus.  Annalise has taken Fergus”, she cried out.  “She was told she mustn’t go near him or Jamie as a condition of her bail and she’s taken him.  Oh God, what if she’s harmed him?  What if she’s trying to take him to France?”.  Claire was distraught.  She talked at a million words a minute, but the police got the gist of what she was saying.

“Do you know where Mr Fraser kept his and the boy’s passports?”, asked one of the police.

“I think in the filing cabinet”, Claire replied. “Christ, Jamie’s head is bleeding.  Where’s that ambulance?”  She knelt beside Jamie and checked his vital signs. “He seems OK, but head injuries are such a worry”, she cried shakily.

One of the police told her they would normally have to seek a court order to stop Annalise taking Fergus overseas, but given she was already on charges and there were bail conditions they would contact airport and port security to prevent him travelling overseas.  They also distributed details of Jamie’s car.

As they were speaking the ambulance arrived, and Jamie regained consciousness.  Despite his protestations, he was taken to hospital.  All he could say to Claire as he was placed in the ambulance was: “Sassenach, dinna worry about me.  I’m sore but I’ll be alright. She took him. Fergus needs ye.”


	16. Ma mère and the baddies

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A few people messaged me to say they needed to know what happened, so here is Breaking News.
> 
> The important thing to learn from this is that parents facing the possibility of international abductions really need to know the law in their jurisdiction. Lawyers have been campaigning for changes in the Scottish law, which differs from the rest of the UK and is remarkably weak, making it relatively easy for professional abduction agents.

As Jamie left in the ambulance, Claire remained at Jamie’s home with the police, looking for any clues as to what was going on.  It was only about 15 minutes later that a call came through from the police operations centre to tell them that Jamie’s car had been spotted heading south on the A697 and that they hoped to intercept it soon.  The police with Claire told her they were waiting on a call to let them know what was happening.

Claire sat on Fergus’ bed, looking at his favourite toys and Cush.  She was sure Annalise was behind this, yet the woman hadn’t taken any of Fergus’ favourite things.  Was this because she didn’t even know what the boy cherished?  Or was it an indication that she only meant harm to the child?  She wanted to cry, but she knew that she had to stay strong for Jamie and Fergus.  She bit her lip and held back the tears.

Ten minutes later, the police received a call and told her that another car would be picking her up from Jamie’s home and taking her to the point at which the car had been intercepted.  They didn’t have any news on Fergus.

When the car arrived, she jumped in the rear seat carrying Babar and Cush.  Her whole body shook with fear of what she might see when she arrived. 

There were two police in the car with her, the male driver and a female police officer who was in contact with the operations centre.

“If we hear anything en route, we’ll let you know”, she told Claire.  “At the moment we’re working on a lot of assumptions, but no news is good news”, she reassured her.

Claire looked out of the car window as they headed south.  It was dark, raining steadily and chilly.  She wondered what on earth was going through Fergus’ head, if indeed he was still OK.  She texted Jamie to let him know she was heading south with the police and repeated the “no news is good news” message to him.  Seconds later, she received a text back: “I love ye Sassenach.  Jenny and Ian on their way to hospital.  I’m praying for Fergus.”

About half an hour later, her thoughts were interrupted by the police officers in the car.

“We’re approaching the stolen vehicle now.  Just a few minutes.”

Claire looked ahead to see flashing lights by the roadside.  There were three police cars and an ambulance as well as Jamie’s car.  “There’s an ambulance.  Oh God, please let him be alright”, Claire gasped.

The car pulled up and a police officer from the scene approached them.  The visibility was poor, and Claire wasn’t sure if she wanted to see what was happening.  The police officer sitting in the front of the vehicle rolled their window down and the other officer peeked in: “Have you brought someone called Da or Sassenach with ye?”, he asked with a grin.

“Yes, yes.  I’m Sassenach”, Claire said anxiously.

“Could you come to the ambulance with me please?” he replied.

She climbed out of the police car, carrying Babar and walking behind two police officers towards the ambulance.  Fergus was sitting in the ambulance with an ambulance officer, wrapped in a blanket and shaking.  Claire burst into tears at the sight of him smiling as he saw her approaching.  She ran towards him and they hugged one another.  The relief was intense.  Claire released Fergus as he was checked for any obvious injuries.  She walked a few steps from the ambulance to see Annalise and two men in handcuffs by the boot of Jamie’s car.

When Annalise saw her, she called out angrily: “He loves _me_.  I’m his _mother_.”

Claire looked at her in disbelief: “Love?  What do you know of love?  All you have brought Jamie and Fergus is pain and fear.  The only person you love is yourself.  Love is putting someone else before yourself.  Love is giving your heart and soul to someone, and they give theirs in return.  I pity you, because you will never know the joy of loving someone else.  I would hate to be you.”

“Bitch!”, Annalise spat back.

“And proud of it”, replied Claire, as Annalise was placed in a police vehicle and driven away.

Claire returned to see how Fergus was going.  The ambulance officers agreed that he should be kept in hospital for observation overnight.  He had some bruising on his chest where he had been tied into the safety seat and on his arms, presumably where he had struggled.  Claire asked if he could be in the hospital Jamie was in, and arrangements were being made.  As they waited for the all clear, she went to each of the police officers involved in finding Fergus and thanked them individually.  She asked the most senior officer there where he thought they were taking Fergus.

“We’re just searching the car for clues now, Sassenach”, he smiled.  “What is your real name?”  he laughed.

“Claire.  Claire Beauchamp”, she smiled.  What a relief it was to relax.

“So far, we’ve found Fergus’ passport and another belonging to James Fraser.  He tells us that’s his Da.  I’m guessing they were heading towards the ferry between Newcastle and Amsterdam.  Anyone suspicious in security would see they were driving a car registered in the name of James Fraser and assume it was all above board.  If we’re right, they planned this pretty carefully.  Ironically, driving his car was their downfall, but only because you were observant to notice they were using it. We suspect the men could be professionals. They were only caught because you were on the ball.  Once they got on that boat, things would have been far more difficult.  We’ve seen a marked increase in these international abductions of children in recent years.  We used to see a few a year, but now we see as many as 40 a year from Scotland.  In the UK overall, it’s more like 580 a year. Some of those children are never seen again”, he told her.  Claire shuddered.  Almost one child a week from Scotland alone, and more than 10 children a week from the UK.  Fergus could have been gone forever and they would never have known what happened to him.  Jamie would have been destroyed, and Annalise knew that.

The ambulance officers called Claire to let her know they could take her and Fergus to the Royal Edinburgh Infirmary.  She thanked everyone again and climbed into the ambulance with Fergus, who held her and Babar tightly.  Cush was behind Claire.  With his head on her lap and covered with a blanket, he slept most of the way back to Edinburgh.  She pondered on how easily Fergus could have been overseas tomorrow – and what might have happened to him if Annalise had been successful.

The ambulance arrived in Edinburgh in the wee hours.  Fergus was itching to see Jamie but was also rather impressed at being placed in a wheelchair with Cush and Babar and wheeled into the hospital.  As they approached Jamie’s room, Claire saw Ian sitting outside looking exhausted.  He rose and greeted them: “Christ, we’ve all been so scared Claire.  Jamie was given a sedative to settle him down, but he’s still in and out of sleep.  Jenny’s with him.  And how are ye, young Fergus?”

Fergus just nodded and held tight to Claire’s hand as he stepped out of the wheelchair and walked cautiously into Jamie’s room, thumb in mouth.  The last time he had seen Jamie was when his father was trying to stop Annalise and a stranger from taking him.  He had seen Jamie hit several times and was frightened at what might have become of him.  Now he could see Jamie looking pale and wan.

Jenny was sitting by Jamie’s bed, her hand holding his.  She reached out to Fergus and lifted him onto the bed beside Jamie.

“Da, you alright?”, Fergus asked cautiously.

Jamie opened one eye and saw Fergus with his thumb in his mouth.

“Aye, I’ll be fine.  How about you?”, Jamie said sleepily.

“I was frightened”, Fergus told him.

“I bet.  Where’s Claire?”, Jamie asked.

“She saved me from ma mère and the baddies”, Fergus said.

Claire stepped within his line of vision and leaned down to kiss his cheek

“Sassenach, ye need to stop being such a hero.  My nerves canna take it”, he told her with a half-smile.

“You need to sleep off the sedative, Jamie.  We’ll be here.  Everything’s fine.”  She gently brushed his cheek and saw the stitches in his head and heavy bruising. 

A small bed was brought into Jamie’s room so that Fergus could sleep near Jamie’s bed.  Claire sat in a recliner chair between them.  Despite Claire’s reassurances that Annalise was in custody, Jenny and Ian sat in the corridor effectively guarding the door.  Details of what had occurred could wait for the coming of dawn.  Now, all that mattered was that the Fraser boys were safe and being watched over by family and a Sassenach.


	17. Wonder Woman, heffalumps and camels

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The first part of this chapter is in answer to questions from readers. It's too long to fit in this summary space.
> 
> The second part of the chapter is devoted to the immediate aftermath of the recovery of Fergus after his abduction.
> 
> And a reminder to check your e-mail address on your AO3 account, as they are making some changes tomorrow (13 December). You may have difficulty accessing your account if your e-mail address is outdated.

****

 

**Part one:**

A reader (@mizzmo22) asked me about the rate of recovery vs abduction. A great question.

  
In Australia, the number of children (i.e. aged 16 or less) reported as being abducted to another country without the permission of the custodial guardian was, on average, 10 children a day. However, these statistics only reflect children who've been taken to countries that are signatories to the Hague Convention on the Civil Aspects of International Parental Child Abduction (the Hague Convention). The Hague Convention is in force between Australia and 83 other countries -- most of which are western countries. An Australian who has been working with parents for over 20 years estimates there are four Australian children (aged 16 and under) abducted to countries who aren't Hague signatories for every one that is reported to the Australian government. Assuming he’s correct, that would be 50 children a day. His longest case has been running 11 years for an Australian child who was taken to Mexico. His fees are high. "There is often a lot of mental health issues involved. Usually for fathers this kind of action comes from jealousy, control and pride. For mothers it's more likely to be spite or fears for safety," he said. As we have seen in our fictitious scenario, Annalise’s motivation was most likely to be spite.

Under the Convention, a country may refuse to return an abducted child to a country of habitual residence under specific exceptions. Countries vary in how they interpret the exceptions. For example, US court orders may not be recognized in other countries. To provide a longer-term perspective, the Office of Children’s Issues in the US reviewed the files of all US children involved in abduction cases opened in 2015. By December 31, 2017, 42 percent of these children had returned to the United States. Rates vary according to the countries involved.

  
Please note that none of these statistics include child trafficking, i.e. the practice of illegally procuring and relocating children, typically for the purposes of forced labour or sexual exploitation. The objective of child trafficking is often forced child labour. UNICEF estimates that, in 2011, 150 million children aged 5–14 in developing countries were involved in child labour. My heart hurts. Please buy fair trade products wherever possible.

 

**Part two:**

 

It was still quite early in the morning when the senior police officer Claire had spoken to the night before visited the hospital.

“I’m just about to go off duty and thought I’d drop in to see how everyone is”, he said looking at the sleeping Fergus.  “He’s looking pretty good for a lad who could be on his way to Amsterdam by now.”

Jamie was still a bit groggy but held his hand out to the officer.  “I canna thank you enough for acting so swiftly to save my lad”, he said shaking his hand.  “The lad’s mother has brought him nothing but trouble for most of his life.”

“Yes, well you’ll be pleased to know that the two men involved have told us everything, including that she lied to them about you having taken the child from her.  We’re currently tracing their movements over the past few years as they seem to be experienced.  They are cooperating fully with the prosecutor.  The charge sheet should be lengthy by the time the prosecutor gets this one to court.  I just wanted to reassure you that Fergus’ mother is in custody and I can see no chance of her getting bail again. Your car will be returned in a few days when the forensic team have finished with it.  And Mr Fraser, if your Sassenach hadn’t been so quick to call us, we could be having a very different conversation right now.”

“Aye, I’m a very lucky man, and I know it”, Jamie told the officer as he reached out to take Claire’s hand.  “Please pass on my thanks to all the officers involved.”

As the officer left, Ian and Jenny arrived with cups of tea and coffee and some breakfast.  While Fergus still slept, Claire gave them all a full account of what had happened the previous night.

“So, yer telling us that if ye hadna been looking out the window and seen Jamie’s car, Fergus could have been on the ferry and out of the country?  Christ, that’s a close shave”, Jenny said.

“Frightening is what it is”, Ian added.

Claire told them about the number of children who are subjects of international abduction a week and watched Jamie’s face drop.  “So many?  And it’s difficult to get them back?”  Jamie was visibly shaken at the prospect of never knowing what had happened to Fergus.

“Why do you think they were watching your apartment, Claire?” Jenny asked.

“I thought about that last night.  I think they waited for me to be out of the way so there were no other witnesses or obstructions.  With Jamie unconscious, they thought they could get away and pass themselves off as Jamie and Annalise Fraser and driving Jamie’s car would make them look even more authentic.  Once they’d got Fergus and the passports, they picked up the person watching my apartment and made a run for it”, Claire surmised.

Jamie was still stunned.  “All the what ifs though, Claire.  What if you hadn’t been looking out of the window, what if you hadn’t noticed the person with the umbrella, what if you hadn’t recognised my car, what if you hadn’t gone around to my house straight away – it’s terrifying.  I’m keeping our passports in a safe deposit box after this.”

Next to arrive in the room was Geillis, who had just come on duty.  Claire introduced her to Ian and Jenny.

“Claire, will ye stop being Wonder Woman, for pity’s sake?  The police have just been telling the boss about yer latest adventures.  Edinburgh was a quiet place until ye arrived and teamed up with the local lads to cause so much trouble”, she smiled. “Rupert’s outside and wants to know if ye’d like to borrow his car.”

“How did Rupert know?”, asked Jamie.

“Well … he dropped me off at work”, Geillis replied.

Claire smiled: “More information Geillis.”

“He carried a box in for me”, replied Geillis looking cagey.

“So, he brought _your_ box in _his_ car this morning, because …?”, Claire smiled.

“Alright Claire, he stayed at my place last night”, Geillis admitted.

Jamie and Claire smiled at one another.  The idea of their best friends becoming a couple appealed. 

“Rupert can use my car”, Geillis added with a sly grin.  “He said he wouldna come in ‘cos ye’d stir him something wicked.  He was right.  Oh, and Rupert told Angus what’s going on and he’s heading into yer business this morning to help out while yer getting all this care and attention Jamie.  You’ll be buying the next round of drinks Monsieur Fraser.”

After Geillis had left, Jenny winked at Claire: “So that’s the lass Rupert is smitten with?”

“He told you?”, Claire said surprised.

“Aye.  I’ve never seen Rupert blush like it.  Evidently she speaks very good French.”

“French, maybe.  Very good is debatable”, Claire laughed.

Jenny and Ian were keen for them all to go to Lallybroch for a rest, but Claire knew they’d need to be available for questions, to retrieve Jamie’s car and to sort out the mess at Jamie’s house.  Instead, it was agreed that Jamie and Fergus would stay with Claire and they would visit the Murrays when things had settled down – if that _ever_ happened.  While they were chatting, Claire’s boss called her aside and told her he would arrange for her to have a week’s leave.  The admin staff would rearrange her consults and reorganise her operating schedule or find other surgeons to take on more urgent cases.  Geillis had already offered. 

When Jamie and Fergus got the all clear from the hospital, Claire took them to her home in Rupert’s car.  Naturally, Babar and Cush were in the car too.  Claire made a mental note to buy a second Babar in case this one was ever lost.

Both the boys were still tired and Fergus clingy, so Claire suggested that they have a nap in her big bed.  She peeked in on them an hour later and felt a surge of love when she saw Jamie’s arm around Fergus, and Fergus clinging to Babar.  She wondered what impact the latest incident would have on both of them and decided to speak to the school about Fergus still going to the drop-off and pick-up room as a source of reassurance.  As she watched, Jamie rolled on to his other side and Fergus, in response, also rolled so that he could still be in contact with his father.  They were so in sync, even when they were sleeping. God, how she loved these two.

Claire knew Fergus was feeling better when he woke hungry and “ready to eat a heffalump”.  She suggested Babar.  Fergus was not amused.  She made him some toast and tried to cut it into the shape of an elephant, which did amuse him.  Jamie was still feeling nauseous and couldn’t face anything she had in the fridge or freezer, so she dashed to the shops and bought the makings of a green smoothie.  When he saw it, he turned his nose up, so she told him to close his eyes and drink it.  He had to admit it was “verra tasty” and drank it down.

Claire then appeared with a shower cap for Jamie: “You need a shower.  You smell like a camel’s arse.”

“And I suppose you’ve smelt a camel’s arse?”, Jamie inquired.

“Unfortunately, I have.  One of the down sides of travelling to the desert with Lamb in my youth.  At least you’re not foaming at the mouth like a camel in the mating season”, Claire laughed.

She helped him get the shower cap on to keep his wound dry as he showered, and he disappeared into the bathroom.  She was clearing up the dining table when he reappeared through the bathroom door with a towel wrapped around his waist.  He had filled his mouth with toothpaste and it was foaming and dripping from his mouth. 

“No mating until tonight, you randy camel’s arse”, Claire laughed.  She knew he’d be OK and added toothpaste to the shopping list.

 

 


	18. The importance of sausages

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> There are still issues relating to Fergus' abduction. Fergus shares his long-term plans.

The following day, Jamie took a call to let him know that the forensic team had completed their work on his house and car.  He could pick up the car and return home when he wished.  He called for a taxi and went to the police station to pick up his car.  When he returned to Claire’s apartment, he told Fergus they could drive to their home.  He was having some difficulty convincing Fergus this was a good idea.

“No, I stay with Claire”.  Fergus was adamant.  His arms were crossed, and his jaw was set.

“You can go and make sure all your toys are there”, Claire suggested.

“Da can do that”, he said.

It was clear to Claire that they would get nowhere while Fergus was in this state of mind.  The child was frightened.  He associated his home with fear, and that was quite logical to a little boy.  His house was where he had seen his father attacked and he had been dragged away by force.

“How about we go to the house and get some of your things and then bring them back here?  Then I’ll make some sausages for lunch.”  Fergus loved sausages.  Claire felt she had resorted to bribery.

“Come back here?”  Fergus sought clarification.  “Promise?”

Claire looked at Jamie, seeking his approval.  “I dinna think that solves the problem, Sassenach”.  Jamie was looking peeved.  He considered the alternative, which was to put Fergus under his arm and force the child to return home.  He was quick to dismiss that option.

“Alright, promise Fergus”, Jamie told him.

The next hurdle was to get Fergus in Jamie’s car.  This was the vehicle he’d been tied into by Annalise and the baddies, where he had been frightened and probably threatened.  Claire won this battle by promising to sit in the back of the car with him and Babar.  

When Jamie parked in the drive of his home, Fergus became fearful.  Claire told him she would check everything was fine before he and Jamie entered the house.  When she entered the front door, she found there was still some clothing and papers out of place, so she quickly cleared them into a cupboard.  She checked all the rooms, doors and windows and then went back to the car to reassure Fergus everything was fine.  Jamie took him from his safety seat and carried him into the house.  Fergus was shaking and clinging to Jamie’s neck.

“Desensitization is going to take some time”, Claire said quietly to Jamie.  “Let’s get what he needs and keep our promise, Jamie.”

They went into Fergus’ room.  Claire took a box from his cupboard and asked Fergus to pick out the things he wanted.  She collected them and placed them in the box, as Fergus still clung to Jamie, then Jamie placed Fergus back in the car.  Claire waited with Fergus while Jamie quickly gathered some clothing and other items he needed.  Fifteen minutes later, they were en route to Claire’s apartment via a small butcher shop that sold Fergus’ favourite sausages.

When they got back to Claire’s apartment, Jamie placed Fergus’ box in the small spare bedroom Fergus slept in.  He watched as Fergus put his clothes away and arranged his toys at the end of the bed.  Fergus was making a point – this was where he felt safe and this was where he was staying.

As she promised, Claire cooked sausages with potato.  Fergus tucked in.  First desensitization session complete, thought Claire.

As they ate ice cream for dessert, Jamie asked Fergus: “When ye grow up, would ye like to be a policeman who saves children from the baddies?”

“No.  When I grow up, I marry Claire.  She knows about baddies and sausages”, Fergus told his father.

Claire covered her face as she felt she might laugh.  Here was a little boy who had found a woman he had trust in, a woman who knew about baddies and sausages, and who played with him.  His thinking was logical for a child of his age.  She couldn’t laugh for fear he would perceive it as her ridiculing him.  She looked at Jamie who was still sitting there looking shocked.

“Aye, I can see what ye mean Fergus, but there’s a wee problem with that idea”, he told him.

“What?”, Fergus said looking serious.

“Well, I had rather hoped _I_ might marry Claire”, Jamie said with a smile.

“If you marry Claire, where I live?”, Fergus said with a frown.

“I suppose ye would live with me and Claire.  I haven’t talked to her about it yet.  Would ye like me to do that?” Jamie asked him, trying to look serious.

“Yes, but hurry up.  I go play and you ask her” Fergus said, leaving the table and going into his bedroom.  He shut the door.

Jamie and Claire both covered their mouths as they laughed.  “Nothing like being put on the spot by yer own child”, Jamie chuckled.  “Just wait there, Claire.”

Jamie disappeared into the main bedroom.  When he returned, he knelt in front of Claire and produced a small box from his pocket.  Inside was a silver Scottish thistle engagement ring.

“Claire, I’ve had this ring for weeks. I was afraid it might have been taken. I had it specially made for ye, but I never seemed to find the right moment to propose to ye.  Ye said ye love me so much it hurts – well, I love ye so much more.  Will ye marry me please?”

Claire’s eyes were filled with unshed tears.  “Well, I have had another offer but he’s a bit too young for me, so I’ll settle for his father.  Jamie, I love you so much and being your wife would be just perfect.  And yes, you can tell Fergus he can live with us, as long as you’re comfortable with living with the other man in my life.”

“Do ye think we should tell him now?”, Jamie laughed.

“Well, he did tell you to hurry up”, Claire chuckled.

Jamie opened Fergus’ bedroom door and asked him to come and talk to Claire.  Fergus came out and Claire lifted him on to her lap.

“Your Da and I think it would be a good idea to get married.  Are you happy about that?” she asked.

“You live with me and Da all the time?”, Fergus asked.

“Yes, I would”, Claire told him.  She showed him the engagement ring and explained that she and Jamie had promised to marry one another but they weren’t married yet.

“Soon?” he asked.

“I suppose so”, she replied.

“I call you Ma then?”  That question surprised her.  She hadn’t really thought about it, yet she thought it might be important to a little boy whose birth mother had treated him so poorly.

“Yes, you can.  I would like that Fergus”.

The little boy smiled and hugged her.  “Good”, he said and ran away to play.

That night, when Claire and Jamie were lying in bed, they talked about the tumultuous events of the previous few weeks.  Claire hadn’t told Jamie what she had said to Annalise, and when she did, he was quiet for a few moments.

“I have experienced more love with you in one day than I did with her in a year, Sassenach.  I think Fergus has felt more love with you in a day than he did in his whole life with her.  Ye’re right, she did bring us pain and fear. I canna believe she could think that Fergus loves her.  She clearly doesna know the meaning of the word”, Jamie told her.

Claire played with the ring on her finger.  “Jamie, how did you know this ring would fit so perfectly?” she asked.

“Well, I waited until that night ye and Geillis had far too much to drink, and while ye were in a drunken stupor I got a wee thread and wrapped it round yer finger”, he smiled. 

“But that was a long time ago”, Claire said.

“Aye Sassenach.  I’ve known I wanted to marry ye for a long time”.

Claire rolled across and kissed him on the cheek.

“How’s your head?”, Claire asked.

“Not good.  I think I might foam at the mouth soon.  It’s almost like I’m turning into a randy camel.  Do ye know what can cure that Doctor?”

“Roll on your back and I’ll try an ancient remedy”, Claire told him.  She began kissing his chest and slowly worked her way down to his stomach, until he gasped as he was engulfed by her lips: “Christ Sassenach!”

“Do you want me to stop?”, she asked.

“God no”, he gasped.


	19. The Phoenix

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This tale is coming to an end. The next chapter will be the last. We began with sadness, but will end like the phoenix - rising from the ashes of the past.

After the chaos of the previous month, things settled down.  Fergus returned to school and Mrs Fitzgibbons was happy for him to remain a member of the pick-up room tribe, which was reassuring for Jamie and Claire.  Jamie, with the help of Mrs Fitzgibbons, had also found a play counsellor for Fergus.  Claire returned to work in the hospital to find Wonder Woman stickers emblazoned on her office door.  Jamie returned to work at Viking Tours, thanking Angus for his hard work during his absence. 

Jamie and Fergus spent increasing amounts of time at their home, but Fergus was still insisting on sleeping at Claire’s apartment.  She remained his main defence against baddies, it seemed.

Just days after becoming engaged to Jamie, Claire received her decree nisi in the mail, formalising her divorce from Frank.  Although she’d known it was coming, seeing that crisp legal document in her hand gave her a sense of freedom from the trauma which had caused the final rift in their marriage.  She was surprised that she felt no sense of loss or sadness – her marriage to Frank had suffered the death of a thousand cuts, almost literally.  She smiled as she considered that every cloud had a silver lining – if she hadn’t left Frank, she would never have met Jamie.

Early on Saturday morning, the Fraser boys, Claire and Jamie’s packed car were en route to Lallybroch, finally taking up Jenny and Ian on their offer of a relaxing weekend.

Fergus’ obsession with red cars had now given way to an interest in motor bikes, specifically Harley Davidsons.  The father of his best friend at school owned one, and he had allowed Fergus to sit on it. Since then, Fergus spent all his time Harley spotting.

On their arrival at Lallybroch, the four Murray children were quickly running down the front steps, hurriedly followed by Jenny.

“It’s wonderful to see ye all”, Jenny exclaimed clapping her hands with glee.  “And not before time.  Bring yer bags and bodies in and we’ll have some brunch.”

Jenny stopped Claire as they made for the front door and hugged her close.  “Thank you, Claire.”

“For what?”, Claire asked her.

“Everything, but particularly for what ye’ve done for my brother.  When I saw him in that hospital bed, waiting to see whether ye’d rescue wee Fergus, I’d never seen him so distraught. Ye have brought love into his life and for that I canna thank you enough.  Now, come in and I’ll make you your own pot of tea.”

Ian and Jamie were soon talking horses and all things agricultural.  Fergus was beyond excited when he found out cousin Jamie had a collection of toy motor bikes, including the much-loved Harley.  It was Kitty who first noticed Claire’s ring.

“Look Ma”, Kitty said to Jenny.  “Aunty Claire has a pretty thistle on her finger.”

Jenny took hold of Claire’s hand.  Her face lit up and she looked across the table at Jamie.  “Brother, is there something ye need to tell us?  Maybe a wee secret?”

Before Jamie could say anything, Fergus perked up.  “I’m going to have a new Ma.  I not like ma mère, I like Claire.”

Ian smiled: “Aye, well you’ll get no argument with anyone in this house Fergus.”

Jamie walked around the table and placed his hand on Claire’s shoulder.

“Claire and I need to sort out a wedding date and I want to talk to ye about it while we’re here, Jenny.  I’d very much like to marry at Lallybroch if ye agree.”

“Agree?  I’d love it Jamie.  Claire will be a very welcome addition to the Fraser clan.  We’ll start planning when the bairns are in bed tonight.  A wedding Ian!”, Jenny squealed.

Ian poured himself another drink.  “Well Jamie, if ye wanted someone to take over the entire event and make all yer decisions for ye, ye could do no better than yer sister.  Ye can put me down to organise the grog”, the dour Scot told them.

“Dinna carry on, Ian.  Ye’ll enjoy it just as much as me”, Jenny said smacking his arm.

“Not as much as I’ll enjoy seeing Annalise in gaol.  Do ye have news on that, Jamie?”, Ian asked.

“Ned reckons she’ll plead guilty to reduce any sentence.  I havena heard any more on that yet”, Jamie grinned.  “I’m just enjoying knowing she’s in custody.”

“I like bananas in custody”, Kitty told them.  She looked piqued when the adults laughed at her.

As the hours passed, Claire watched the tension in Jamie’s body dissipate.   He was laughing openly with Ian, enjoying his nieces and nephews, reminiscing about his childhood with Jenny and enjoying familiar surroundings.  As she had noticed before, Fergus’ behaviour reflected Jamie’s.  Once again, they were in sync.  She had been concerned they might have difficulty getting Fergus to sleep, but he was far more relaxed and playing with his cousins was tiring him.

After an impressive evening meal, prepared by Jenny with a little help from Claire, there were games, stories and cuddles for the children.  Once they were all in bed, the adults celebrated the engagement with whisky and the wedding plans began.  Claire thought Jenny should have been a wedding planner – or at least a caterer.  The larger details, ranging from chairs to a choice of celebrant – were quickly sorted and they were soon talking dates and times.

“Ye would want Joe and Gail to come, Claire?” Jenny asked.

“Definitely. I think I’ll ask Joe to walk me down the aisle. He and Gail have been like family for a long time. And, of course, Geillis and a few other people from the hospital.  I don’t have any family since Uncle Lamb died, so my side is sparse”, Claire replied.

“Ye won’t be able to say that when ye become a Fraser, Claire.  You’ll be tripping o’er them in the street”, Ian smiled.

“I promised Joe and Gail they could stay here when they came, so I’ll clean up a cottage for them and another for ye, Claire”, Jenny told Claire.

“Thanks Jenny.  And thank you for all these plans.  It’s a lot of work”, Claire was looking a bit concerned.

“Dinna fash, Claire.  Ye’re worth it.  It’ll be a wonderful opportunity to bring together family and friends, and it’s time Jamie had something to celebrate.”  Having had such a tiny family, Claire was warmed by Jenny’s enthusiasm.

Jamie and Ian drifted off to make a list of, and sample, essential (and not so essential) grog while Claire talked to Jenny.  The subject of bridesmaids was raised, Claire suggesting Maggie and Kitty might enjoy being invited: “Enjoy?  They’ll be over the moon Claire.  There’s a lass in the village who can make them matching dresses.  Just choose yer fabric and colour”, Jenny responded.  Claire wondered if they might not be as excited as Jenny.

For the rest of the evening they talked kilts, flowers, floral arrangements, table decorations and a multitude of things that left Claire reeling.  She wondered if it might not be better to elope but couldn’t deny Jenny the opportunity to organise a family gathering.

Finally, Claire talked about something else she’d like to incorporate into the wedding plans.  She wanted to keep it a secret, which Jenny loved.  The idea that Claire had taken her into her confidence thrilled Jenny: “Oh, that’s a wonderful idea Claire.  I’ll be happy to help with that”, Jenny smiled.


	20. Obey?  Seriously?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is a wee bit shorter, but in the best interests of a Happy Christmas - we needed a happy ending.
> 
> Merry Christmas! Happy New Year!

They had allowed months for the wedding preparation, but it still felt rushed.  It would have been impossible to have organised it all without Jenny and Ian’s hard work.  Geillis, Rupert and Angus also helped whenever possible.  Claire was sorting out gifts for all of them to show her genuine thanks.

When Claire, Jamie and Fergus arrived at Lallybroch a few days before the wedding, the car boot was full of their clothes, shoes and the many things Jenny had listed for them to bring with them from Edinburgh.  Jenny had prepared a cottage for Claire so that she could set up her dress and those for the bridesmaids.  A second cottage was ready for Joe and Gail, who were driving up from London the day before the wedding. 

Marquees were set up in the grounds, stacked with chairs and tables.  Local villagers were being employed to do the last-minute setting up under Ian’s supervision.

Jamie’s main concern appeared to be where Claire would be sleeping the night  before the wedding: “Why are ye sleeping in the cottage, Sassenach?  I need ye to be my heater and my … ye know.”

“The groom cannot see the bride on the day, Jamie.  Not until she walks down the aisle.  You know the rules”, Claire smiled.

“Ye never follow the rules, Sassenach.  Ye can break them like ye usually do”, he told her with his bottom lip stuck out.

“I’ll make it up to you on the wedding night, Jamie”, she winked.

“Twice?”, he asked looking hopeful.

“At least”, she laughed.  He gave her a broad smile and seemed to settle for that.

When Joe and Gail arrived, and Geillis joined them, Claire felt a bit more relaxed. This was her “family” and she adored them.  She was also delighted to see the growing affection between Geillis and Rupert.  Little smiles and touches were now shared openly.  She and Jamie loved them both.

Claire, Gail, Geillis and Jenny and her daughters enjoyed a rare opportunity for relaxation when they had drinks and supper in Claire’s cottage the night before the wedding.  The boys were busy eating pasta and drinking in the main house.  Joe was soon embraced by the male gathering, having already met Jamie. Claire knew they’d become great friends.

Claire woke the next morning to the sounds of setting up – machinery, loud voices and laughter.  Glasses were clinking, cutlery clashing and bottles of plonk being set in place.  The hairdresser was scheduled to arrive soon to begin working on everyone.  The little Murray girls were excited to have their hair done professionally.

By the time hair was done and dresses donned, Claire was beginning to get butterflies. She had no doubt about marrying Jamie but being on show wasn’t really her thing.  She also wasn’t flamboyant.  Her wedding dress was a simple affair. Joe kissed her on the cheek: “Time to strut your stuff LJ.  You look beautiful, as usual”, he reassured her.

While Joe held one hand, Gail held the other and carried Claire’s bouquet for her.  “It’s not so long ago that your life hit a low, but today is a wonderful day.  Joe and I are so happy to be sharing it with you.  Come on, sister.”

Claire kissed them both on the cheek: “Once again, I’m so glad you two are in my life. Let’s do it.”  The three of them walked toward the gathering of family and friends, Jenny behind them with her two beautiful daughters with their posies.  The two groomsmen, Ian and Angus, were waiting for their arrival and Angus, unable to restrain himself, whistled when Claire was within sight.  Ian had been best man at Jamie’s marriage to Annalise and suggested Rupert be best man after his heroics – and he “didna want to jinx this marriage”.

As Claire walked down the aisle on Joe’s arm, she looked around at so many special people who were there.  Her eyes locked with Jamie’s and she could see he was as emotional as her.  Rupert was beaming with pride and Fergus was between he and Jamie with a red velvet cushion, two ring containers sitting atop the cushion.

Jamie and Claire had opted for a simple ceremony.  Jamie had laughed when Claire glared at him during the rehearsal:  “When did ‘obey’ become part of the vows?  Did you change it?”

“A man has to try, Sassenach”, he laughed.  “I knew ye’d object but I couldna wait to see yer face.”

Both of them knew ‘obey’ was off the agenda today.

At the appropriate moment, Fergus stepped forward with the rings and smiled that he’d got it right.  Rupert shook his hand. When the bride and groom kissed, everyone cheered and clapped except Ian and Angus.  They were busy carrying in a small platform, which they placed close to Claire.  Ian lifted Fergus on to the platform and Jenny reassured him everything was fine.  Jamie looked on with a questioning frown, and Claire threw him a kiss.

Claire turned to the elevated Fergus and took his little hands:

> _I, Claire Fraser (she looked to Jamie with a smile), take thee, Fergus Fraser, as my stepson._
> 
> _I promise to love you and care for you, to cook you sausages and to protect you from baddies._
> 
> _I promise to help you with your homework, even when you don’t want to do it._
> 
> _I will be proud when you call me Ma._
> 
> _But most of all, Fergus, I promise to give you a happy home.  A Safe Place._

She hugged Fergus when he cried.  Jamie walked over and hugged them both, and he too cried.  The tears soon stopped when there was the loud revving of a Harley Davidson and Claire told Fergus: “Now I'm your Ma, I’m giving you permission to have a ride in that Harley sidecar.  Your school friend is waiting for you, and his Da is going to give you the ride of your life.”

Jamie secured Fergus in the side car and laughed as he was whizzed around the grounds squealing.

Half the congregation were still crying and the other half laughing when Geillis, in true Geillis style, took Rupert by the arm and called out: “Right, it must be time to get pissed!”

Jamie embraced Claire: “Thank ye so much for that, mo chidre.  What ye did for Fergus was so special. We’re both very lucky lads.”

As he kissed her on the cheek, Ned Gowan appeared at his side.

“A wonderful day, Jamie.  I just want to complete it by telling you both that I got news yesterday.  Annalise plead guilty and has been given an eight year sentence with a non-parole period of five years.  The ultimate wedding present, in my considered opinion”, he grinned.  “How does that make you feel?”

“Best day of my life, Ned”, Jamie replied

"And mine", added Claire.


End file.
